ebonlock: (GAH!)
I...

Huh...

Dead Reverend’s Rubber Fetish
Autopsy: Pastor found in wet suits after autoerotic mishap

OCTOBER 8–An Alabama minister who died in June of “accidental mechanical asphyxia” was found hogtied and wearing two complete wet suits, including a face mask, diving gloves and slippers, rubberized underwear, and a head mask, according to an autopsy report.

Investigators determined that Rev. Gary Aldridge’s death was not caused by foul play and that the 51-year-old pastor of Montgomery’s Thorington Road Baptist Church was alone in his home at the time he died (while apparently in the midst of some autoerotic undertaking). While the Montgomery Advertiser, which first obtained the autopsy records, reported on Aldridge’s two wet suits, the family newspaper chose not to mention what police discovered inside the minister’s rubber briefs.
[Ed note: Spoiler alert! Dildo, condom, anus]

But wait, it gets better:

Immediately following his death, church officials issued a press release asking community members to “please refrain from speculation” about what led to Aldridge’s demise.

At this point does anyone really need to speculate? Well, ok, I will admit I'm speculating away when it comes to wondering just how in the hell this guy died completely alone but also hogtied. And if anyone can explain why one wetsuit wouldn't be sufficient...wait, on second thought I don't think I want to know...

Have to admit, though, that on some level I just have to respect that level of dedication to getting off. Hell I can't even be bothered to schlepp down to the store to pick up some extra batteries if I'm out...but this guy. Well, damn.
ebonlock: (Frak me)
Ok so most of yesterday was both nice and normal. I accompanied [livejournal.com profile] moonlightnrain to a local second-hand furniture shop in search of a sofa. She found one, I found a loveseat sleeper that I liked a great deal more than my current futon. We bought both. Delivery is set for Monday, at which time I'll probably post my futon on Freecycle to see if anybody wants it. If not it's off to Goodwill. The nice thing is that I have a dining room large enough to store it in for a few days before it goes away.

Aelf came over in the early evening and we watched the Heroes marathon on Scifi. The upstairs neighbors started being their normal noisy selves and at one point Aelf had had enough so she walked up to knock on the door and find out what the hell they were doing. They were, I shit you not, Flamenco dancing on the hardwood floor, blithely unaware (apparently) that there was no insulation between me and them whatsoever. They promised to stop and did briefly, but started up again at which point A- and I both shrugged, turned up the tv and tried to ignore them.

Then about 9 pm things got weird.

So we hear this banging and crashing around upstairs and as it's the fucking clumsiest people in the world living up there we don't think much of it. Then there's intense crashing out on the patio, so much so that my cats bolt for under the futon, petrified. I'm thinking, ok this is weirder than normal. Then we hear this, well, wailing for lack of a better word, punctuated by cries of "I'm in pain! I need help!" And we're both thinking at this point, god somebody's getting beat up or something. Grabbing my phone I consider calling the cops directly, then realized that the neighbors across the way are good friends with my upstairs neighbors so I go knock on their door. S- answers and recognizes me and I tell him I'm really worried about the upstairs people, somebody should check and make sure nobody's being killed or anything. He goes running over, and I'm hanging onto my phone in case he pops his head back out and says someone needs an ambulance. A- and I wait for a good 10 minutes, nobody comes back out so we go back inside. But not before seeing one of the maintenance guys who works in the building come out of the apartment looking grim. I'm guessing someone called him due to the noise and he came over to check it out. After some more banging and wailing (altogether this went on for an hour and a half) things finally get quiet and I hear what I presume is S- picking things up , so I'm hoping the storm is over...whatever the hell it was.

I did note when I went up to S-'s apartment that there was now a hole in the door of the upstairs neighbor's closet, so the guy was clearly fucking shit up up there, but as to why, I have no idea. If I had to guess I'd say either copious amounts of alcohol or pharmaceuticals were involved. I barely slept last night, waking up at every odd sound, wondering if the guy was going to start freaking out again. I really hope it was just a bad trip or something and he's learned his lesson and that's an end to it, but I guess we shall see.

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August 2013

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