Fearless on my breath...

Bit of a Kage update because the cuteness factor is off the chart. She hadn't worked out how to clean her face while upright and then all of a sudden one night after a tasty dinner she worked it out. She balances on her back feet and uses her front paw to clean her face just like a little bunny. It is just about the most adorable thing imaginable.

Now I must go as she's demanding more treats right now.

Another Kage update, I'm afraid. I'm going to be a bit single-minded for a bit, sorry. Anyway we had a bit of an issue last night involving a full bladder and Kage's confusion about just where she should empty it. She started on my bed, continued to pee in her own bed (?) and then realized there was a litter box, but collapsed just inside it. I talked to the vet tech about it today and she confirmed it was probably a) too many drugs and b) all the fluids she's been receiving over the past few days.

Anyway I cleaned up what I could last night and ended up sleeping curled up at the top of the bed to avoid the wet spot at the foot of the bed. I settled her onto a towel on the papasan cushion and she slept straight through the night (though I didn't, popping my head up to check on her every time she changed position). She's eaten twice already and Aelf even got her to drink some water earlier. I ran to the pet store and bought her a new heated blanket since she soaked her former bed through the cover and foam, I also picked up some puppy training pads just in case we have another accident tonight.

After relaxing all night and most of the day on the papasan I just went back and checked on her and she was right up on the bed again. There was some sunshine coming through the window right there and she looked happy as a clam. I really could not be more impressed with her handling of this surgery. She's just the most amazing animal, she really is.

I should also say that Pye is handling things *very* well. All the hard learned lessons from the last surgery have come in amazingly handy this time around. There's no aggression or inappropriate yowling/urinating. He has, in fact, been astonishingly good. I think it also helped that I took today off and could let him go outside for a bit. That let me open the bedroom door so Kage could see the outside too and get some fresh air. It calmed Pye down and perked Kage up, a total win-win.

And after two more insane requests from the lender (which I took care of earlier) the broker assures me we'll be official on Monday. For sure this time. *sigh*

Still waiting to finish up the house stuff, but that's not what I wanted to tell you all about. Today, as most of you know, was Kage's amputation surgery. Aelf and I have been wrecks most of the day, but a call to the vet at lunchtime helped a bit. I talked to Dr. G- and when I asked how her tests were he paused just long enough to freak me out before saying in a rather surprised voice, "Her bloodwork came back normal."

"Normal?" says I.

"A little high but in the normal range, yes."

We both just pondered that for a moment. See the first thing you find out about Chronic Renal Failure in cats is that it isn't reversible. You can hold your ground if you're lucky, but that's the best that can possibly be hoped for. Kidneys just don't get better once they start to fail...and yet....

Mind you, this is after me pretty much feeding her whatever she would eat and only doing her fluid treatments every other day. Sure she's been taking Azodyl, but wow. I mean, just wow.

Her EKG was perfect and her lungs clear so it was all systems go for the surgery. He assured me she'd be drugged to the gills and not feeling any pain tonight. When Aelf and I got there we could definitely confirm that. Poor little thing probably didn't even realize we were there, but she sure was happy. I've only heard her purr like that a few times before, whatever those drugs are they're good.

Originally the vet had planned to take off everything up to her elbow, but he decided to take everything up to her shoulder. It would be the best thing for her ultimately, easier for her to get used to and less likely to get banged around inadvertently. I think I expected to be more surprised by her appearance than I was, but honestly she just looked shaved and stitched up. The wound looked very good, nice and clean, and so long as we can keep her from messing with it for a week or two we should be in good shape. We'll need to go with a cone, but a soft fabric one this time. Also some of the folks on the list I joined today suggested using a baby t-shirt to keep cats from messing with the stitches, which sounds like a pretty practical way to go.

When we got there to visit Kage the vet poked his head in and said, positively beaming, that we'd made the right call with her. In fact, he was downright giddy when he said that he fully expected her to live 20 years or more. We all just grinned at each other. 20 years? I mean here I was getting ready to bury her not two days ago and now the idea that I might have her for years rather than days is just overwhelming.

The next few days are going to be tough. She's going to be in a lot of pain and getting used to life on 3 legs, but I couldn't be happier or more relieved. I literally just couldn't.

When I got home I received the cedar oil solution I'd ordered. It's an all natural flea/insect repellent that comes highly recommended by several groups and the healthy cat magazine I picked up last weekend. The best thing is, not only is it safe and effective, but it smells delightful. Indeed, my apartment (and Pye) smells rather like a Renn Faire at the moment.

And now I think I'm just going to collapse and relax for the rest of the evening. And hey, Dr. Strangelove's on, I think my evening's plans are clear. Of course I'm saving a little time for meditation and prayer tonight, I have a lot to be thankful for.

First, I got an amazing amount done so far this weekend. Indeed the apartment is almost entirely packed. Having made such headway I gave myself permission to sleep in this morning and finally dragged my ass out of bed at 10:30. Pye was whining for me at the door and I came out talking to him and then calling for Kage. She didn't move. I called her again, she stayed curled up and unmoving. I panicked. I ran over and touched her, half convinced she'd somehow died in her sleep, only to startle her awake. I've been suspecting her hearing's been going for a while now, and this pretty much convinced me of it. It also explains why she's been so nervous about Pye. Her tumor's growing at a frightening rate, but she's still walking ok, eating well, and taking her fluid treatments with tremendous patience. I take what I can get these days.

On a lighter note, TCM is doing some of my favorite Errol Flynn flicks today and are about to start The Adventures of Robin Hood. Nothing puts me in a better mood than this film. And I think I'm taking the rest of the afternoon off. I've earned it.

Also iwasmisinformed posted this, and it must be shared:

A couple of quick things. First Kage is currently in better shape than I've seen her in years. Literally. You can't even see the wound on her leg any more unless you really look for it and she's actually running around and playing like a kitten. She demands that I play with her every time we go outside now and chases her tail in the house when she's bored.

She's also talking again. I get up in the morning and she starts telling me how hungry she is and demanding her breakfast. She's eating everything I put in front of her and asking for more in most cases. She's also drinking up a storm. She's even behaving herself during her fluid treatments, though I must admit I'm only doing them every other day right now. They're for keeping her hydrated and she's well hydrated and happy so we're not worrying about it.

And right now she's chasing Pye around the apartment. He's both astonished and profoundly amused and she looks like she's queen of the house again.

On another note, I am becoming hooked on the ABC series "The Unusuals" which can only mean that the show is doomed. On the plus side my favorite character in the series is revealed to have a brain tumor in the first ep so I don't have to waste any time worrying about how he's going to die (as my favorite characters almost universally do). He's doomed from the get-go, perhaps that's part of the appeal. I like him, his neurotic partner Leo and I'm even beginning to dig the remaining cast of textbook cliche detective characters. The show's just quirky enough to keep me watching...at least until it doesn't get enough viewers and goes the way of so many other shows I've enjoyed over the years.

Kage continues to improve and tonight actually both ate dinner in the kitchen for the first time since her surgery and just curled up in her heated bed in front of her heater. You honestly don't understand how much you appreciate the little things in life until they're taken away. I felt like throwing a party, I kind of still do.

I don't know how much longer I'm going to have her with me, but I'm determined to enjoy every second she's with me.

In other news elo_sf has seen a preview of the new "Cupid" series and apparently it's entirely underwhelming. Color me shocked. Why don't those bastards at ABC just release the original? Why? WHY?!

BTW, the people who wrote the promos lauding it as the "most romantic NEW show of the season" need to be punched directly in the gonads. Repeatedly. If they had an iota of honesty they'd admit it's "the most romantic show this network ran years ago with a superior cast and then viciously raped to death and never deigned to release on DVD for absolutely no fucking reason."

I know that's not quite as catchy...

GAH!

Ok, two minutes in to the pilot episode and I'm burying my face in my hands. This is pathetic, just pathetic. That's it, I'm digging out my original series episodes, I need to get the bad taste out of my brain.

On the other hand the latest House episode is kicking ass. I love the way they're doing the diagnosis via yes and no questions, and Kutner proving he's the kinder, gentler heir apparent to House's diagnostic kingdom. The reveal on why House was in NY was quite interesting, though ultimately rather depressing (yeah, I know, shocker). And it looks like the next episode is a very special episode of House, M.D. That always makes me a little nervous. This season was a little wobbly, but has ultimately turned out strong, and I'm hoping they're not heading for another stumble.

To be honest, while I adore the show and could happily watch House sitting in an exam room for an hour enjoying his favorite soap (seriously, I could), I wonder how many more seasons they're going to attempt. I mean if you've got a character who you can't really allow to ever develop and change, one who's so delightfully damaged and brilliantly screwed up that you can't let him heal...well, there's only so far you can take his story.

( Personality meme behind the cut...I'd say it's a pretty good fit... )

A couple of quick things, first dance is beginning to eat my life up again, for which I apologize. On the other hand if I want to make my weight loss goal by my birthday this year (the big 4-0), dance class and dance rehearsals are a great way to go about it. But between that and Kage posts may be few and far between, sorry.

Speaking of Kage she's been a bit perkier today and I'd just started to get my hopes up when she vomited all over the floor. I'm attempting to tell myself it's no big deal, but the vet already warned me that if she's not eating and vomiting there's no way we can move forward with the surgery. And the way the tumor's growing it's not going to be long before she won't be able to walk at all.

I'm going to call the vet and see if I can bring her in on Saturday for an evaluation and we'll see what we see. In the meantime she gets pampered and petted and with any luck coaxed into eating a little.

So we finished off season one of Being Human and I think I might have enjoyed it more than most of the folks who were viewing it, but we all had a great time. Wanted to thank elo_sf for hosting and providing us with all kinds of yummy food. I got some crafting done with the "help" of Miss Prada so that felt rather good.

Then I came home to give Kage her first hydration treatment and failed rather miserably. I had to poke her twice and she growled at me the second time then struggled free and pulled the needle out. I felt so wretched that I let her go and told myself tomorrow for sure. I'm not allowed to give up, I know that, it's just incredibly disheartening to know I not only hurt her but also failed to actually do any good.

Tomorrow I'm going to make sure she's incapacitated before beginning the procedure. Wish me luck.

So the latest Kage update, after a long talk with the vet, comes down to the following decision:

1) Do surgery on Kage's paw removing the tumor and a good portion of her paw as well. Best case scenario she comes through the surgery fine and heals well over the next two months with no complications...despite the fact that she doesn't have sufficient skin in the area to cover the wound so it would remain open the whole time.

Worst case scenario the anesthesia either does her in immediately or finishes off her kidneys and she dies within the next few weeks.

2) Do nothing for the time being with the hope that the tumor she's currently got doesn't spread (and it doesn't appear to have done so yet). Unfortunately it's malignant and aggressive and even if it's removed will likely return in the future. On the plus side this option means she gets to be mostly comfortable for the remainder of her life. On the downside that life might only be a few more months at best.

The first option is far and away the riskier and it means putting her through a rather nasty surgery and months of bandaging, medication and vet visits which she will hate with a passion. But, it also means that if she survives she's got an actual chance of being ok for months, and maybe even a year. It could buy her more time. Maybe.

The other option means accepting that she's going to die and just choosing to make that death as stress-free and comfortable as possible.

I have until tomorrow to figure out what I want to do. I tried calling aelfsciene but her phone's going directly to voice mail so she may not even get the message by tomorrow, which leaves it up to me.

First let me say that yesterday's vet visit led to inconclusive results. The first x-ray seemed clear but the second might have meant the cancer had spread so we're going to have to wait until Friday when the vet can consult with a radiologist. I'll let you guys know as soon as I do.

On a happier note, aelfsciene and I had the most wonderful time last night at Cinematic Titanic. On the way up to the city I'd turned to her and said, "God I'm going to be breathing the same air as Trace Beaulieu!" I've had a raging crush on the man for so many years now it's not even funny and had worn my Dr. Forrester "I'm Evil!" t-shirt in his honor. So imagine my reaction when we came up the stairs to the theater and he was standing right there! I told Aelf later that it was a good thing she was in front of me at the time because she'd have laughed herself sick at the star struck expression on my face.

Ah but the best moment was Trace seeing me, grinning and saying, "Oh it's so weird to see my face on a t-shirt." We shook hands and introduced ourselves and I babbled something about being so excited to be there then the capacity for coherent speech failed me and I just flailed at him in a giddy manner. He grinned again and flailed back, clearly used to dealing with raging fans. Then Aelf remembered she had a camera and asked if she could get a picture of the two of us. He said we could if we were sneaky about it as they weren't supposed to until after the show. I demurred that we'd wait and purchased one of their DVDs for my friend D- before we headed inside. We had great seats and the theater itself was just the perfect venue. The audience was hyped even before the opening act came out to warm us all up, which they did beautifully.

The movie itself was a little flick called "The Dynamite Brothers", a "Kung-sploitation" extravaganza from the early 70's. Oh yes, we were in for Deep Hurting, and the riffs started fast and furious right out of the gate. It's hard to pinpoint the pinnacle joke of the evening, but for the majority of the audience it came when the older crooked cop was getting it on with his hot young wife and J. Elvis joked, "For those who ever wondered what your father making out with a hooker would look like..." For me it was a smaller moment when one of the lead characters was getting himself out of a cave and Trace gazed across the stage and drawled, "Rock climbing, Joel." Every single MST3K nut in the audience lost our collective shit simultaneously. I really need to track down a copy of their version of "Lost Continent" somewhere to show Aelf.

At any rate I laughed so hard I was in tears and my lungs and sides ached. If they don't release this one on dvd I'll be so depressed because I really want to re-experience it. I'm sure there were a bunch of zingers I missed simply because the audience was laughing so hard at another joke. That was always one of the joys of MST3K, that you could rewind a bit if you missed something.

We hung around afterwards for a bit and met some other MSTies, one actually had a Mitchell t-shirt which made me laugh and laugh. Sadly the crowd was huge and we had a BART train to catch so we took off before we could get very close to the gang but we were both on such a high from the evening that we didn't mind in the slightest.

All I can say is if this show comes anywhere near you go see it, you won't regret it!

UPDATE: Just heard from Eyesdelight who posted her own cool update and pics if you want to see them. They're adorable! She also mentions the invention exchange which I totally forgot about :)