via Fafblog:
After months of petty partisan mudslinging over "individual rights" and "unlimited executive power," Samuel Alito has finally been given his proper place on the nation's highest court. It is the greatest honor a jurist can receive: no longer a creature of flesh and bone, Alito has been reborn as lifelong Justice of the Supreme Court, a pure and ethereal conduit of the Constitution. Even as we speak he is being anointed by his fellow jurisprudents in the Supreme Court Building, where he will bodily ascend into the empyreal Tenth Sphere of the Law to commune with the wraithlike, undead spirits of the Framers to perfectly comprehend the true meaning of the Constitution before passing through the eye of a black hole to become the Star Child.
After months of petty partisan mudslinging over "individual rights" and "unlimited executive power," Samuel Alito has finally been given his proper place on the nation's highest court. It is the greatest honor a jurist can receive: no longer a creature of flesh and bone, Alito has been reborn as lifelong Justice of the Supreme Court, a pure and ethereal conduit of the Constitution. Even as we speak he is being anointed by his fellow jurisprudents in the Supreme Court Building, where he will bodily ascend into the empyreal Tenth Sphere of the Law to commune with the wraithlike, undead spirits of the Framers to perfectly comprehend the true meaning of the Constitution before passing through the eye of a black hole to become the Star Child.