Where do you go from here?
Oct. 9th, 2007 09:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ebonlockI...
Huh...
Dead Reverend’s Rubber Fetish
Autopsy: Pastor found in wet suits after autoerotic mishap
OCTOBER 8–An Alabama minister who died in June of “accidental mechanical asphyxia” was found hogtied and wearing two complete wet suits, including a face mask, diving gloves and slippers, rubberized underwear, and a head mask, according to an autopsy report.
Investigators determined that Rev. Gary Aldridge’s death was not caused by foul play and that the 51-year-old pastor of Montgomery’s Thorington Road Baptist Church was alone in his home at the time he died (while apparently in the midst of some autoerotic undertaking). While the Montgomery Advertiser, which first obtained the autopsy records, reported on Aldridge’s two wet suits, the family newspaper chose not to mention what police discovered inside the minister’s rubber briefs. [Ed note: Spoiler alert! Dildo, condom, anus]
But wait, it gets better:
Immediately following his death, church officials issued a press release asking community members to “please refrain from speculation” about what led to Aldridge’s demise.
At this point does anyone really need to speculate? Well, ok, I will admit I'm speculating away when it comes to wondering just how in the hell this guy died completely alone but also hogtied. And if anyone can explain why one wetsuit wouldn't be sufficient...wait, on second thought I don't think I want to know...
Have to admit, though, that on some level I just have to respect that level of dedication to getting off. Hell I can't even be bothered to schlepp down to the store to pick up some extra batteries if I'm out...but this guy. Well, damn.
Huh...
Dead Reverend’s Rubber Fetish
Autopsy: Pastor found in wet suits after autoerotic mishap
OCTOBER 8–An Alabama minister who died in June of “accidental mechanical asphyxia” was found hogtied and wearing two complete wet suits, including a face mask, diving gloves and slippers, rubberized underwear, and a head mask, according to an autopsy report.
Investigators determined that Rev. Gary Aldridge’s death was not caused by foul play and that the 51-year-old pastor of Montgomery’s Thorington Road Baptist Church was alone in his home at the time he died (while apparently in the midst of some autoerotic undertaking). While the Montgomery Advertiser, which first obtained the autopsy records, reported on Aldridge’s two wet suits, the family newspaper chose not to mention what police discovered inside the minister’s rubber briefs. [Ed note: Spoiler alert! Dildo, condom, anus]
But wait, it gets better:
Immediately following his death, church officials issued a press release asking community members to “please refrain from speculation” about what led to Aldridge’s demise.
At this point does anyone really need to speculate? Well, ok, I will admit I'm speculating away when it comes to wondering just how in the hell this guy died completely alone but also hogtied. And if anyone can explain why one wetsuit wouldn't be sufficient...wait, on second thought I don't think I want to know...
Have to admit, though, that on some level I just have to respect that level of dedication to getting off. Hell I can't even be bothered to schlepp down to the store to pick up some extra batteries if I'm out...but this guy. Well, damn.
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no subject
Date: 2007-10-10 05:16 am (UTC)But seriously: the hands are bound behind the back. The feet are tied to the hands...There are plastic cords also tied about the hands and feet with a single plastic cord extending up to the head And the guy is wearing diving gloves!! It's odd that the police came to the conclusion they did, because I would have guessed that some really sick nemesis wrapped him up like that, dildo and all.
no subject
Date: 2007-10-10 04:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-10 05:25 am (UTC)"No it's fucking not."
"All right, you're correct, no it isn't."
"Are my eyes really blue?"
no subject
Date: 2007-10-10 05:42 am (UTC)At this point does anyone really need to speculate?
Nobody really knows HOW the condom-covered dildo fell into his arsehole, but he could have accidentally sat on it.
no subject
Date: 2007-10-10 04:55 pm (UTC)Before or after the hog tying and double wetsuits?
no subject
Date: 2007-10-10 07:12 am (UTC)The death was in June. I have to imagine that there's more to the story that the cops know and we don't. Like maybe someone tied him up for $$ and then left and had an alibi as to why he/she couldn't be charged with the murder.
But would they be accessory to it? Sigh. So strange!
Also you are funny.
no subject
Date: 2007-10-10 05:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-10 06:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-12 11:44 am (UTC)You know, I've heard about an aversion to body fluids in squick lists on exchanges, but this is taking things a step too far...
"And that, boys and girls, is what we call 'safest sex'. Now who can tell me what safety requirement the good Reverend neglected?"
I guess he figured if he didn't actually touch his own flesh, it wasn't a sin. Since he was all covered up, it wasn't a filthy perversion, either.
In best Southern accent: Ah speculate the good Reverend here died of a mos' tragic and unforeseen allergy to rubbah. Yes, indeedy.