Oh my

[ebonlock]

It would seem the reviews for Eragon are in and it's every bit as wretched as the trailers made me think it would be:

* A load of generic mush perhaps best served as a piece of bitchin' '70s van art.

* For those who love the fantasy genre known as sword and sorcery -- and I count myself in their number -- sitting through the movie version of Eragon will suck the will to live right out of you.

* "Eragon" is based on a book by a 19-year-old with a script that seems to have been written by a 12-year-old.

* Eragon has the courage of its earnest, borderline-humorless convictions.

* It's a large-scale fantasy that plays like a rerun... Paolini began his novel when he was 15, and the simplicity of 'Eragon'... might bring back memories of high school writing workshops.

* It's mostly just a bunch of actors trying to look involved while attempting to act through their bad wigs and Studio 54 reject outfits.

* Eragon's fantastical milieu may be third-class Lord of the Rings, but its story--in what may constitute the most shameless act of plagiarism known to American cinema--is pure Star Wars.

* Been to that galaxy, done that ring.

Comments

[windrose.livejournal.com]

Kath had quite a few negative things to say about the book well before the movie ever happened, so I never bothered reading it. Given the wretched film reviews, looks like I can skip that, too.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

Definitely agreed. And the perfect icon for it too ;)

[windrose.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah, this one definitely deserved the MST treatment. And the subtitle "When Bad Movies Happen To Good Actors." Seriously, you'd think Jeremy Irons would have learned after Dungeons & Dragons, but no. And poor Robert Carlyle. I'm just going to assume they needed the paychecks.

[canellaphile.livejournal.com]

The reviews are right, but a tad harsh. Most reviewers just like to hear themselves snark. I would definitely have netflixed it just 'cause, if I hadn't just seen it in the theatre for free. lol.

Diss the movie, fine. But the books?! I'm not a Star Wars junkie - not even a fan really. But I love me some Inheritance books, simple as they may be. Maybe it's because instead of a phallic light saber, Eragon has a badass female dragon, and his "love interest" Arya doesn't even like or accept his affection because she's too busy being responsible and better than him at everything. It's all about the audience, I suppose.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

You know what did it for me in the trailer? I mean besides the fact that Jeremy Irons had that same "Dear god what am I doing with my career?" look on his face that he had in "Dungeons and Dragons"...the costumes. I mean one look at the armor and all I could think was, "I'd be embarassed to show up in any of that shit at a LARP for crying out loud." I'm sure that makes me hideously shallow, but if I can't look at the characters without wincing there's no way I can make it through the film. Maybe I'll try the book at some point but I think I'll pass on the movie.

[canellaphile.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha... no, avoid the film at all costs then. Honestly, I'd be happy with more made-for-TV SciFi network mini-series adaptations than these star-embarassed epic flicks.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

It was one thing to dress people like that in the 80's in stuff like Krull, but really, haven't we evolved past that? I mean LOTR set the new standard for fantasy epics, people, get with the damn program.

[canellaphile.livejournal.com]

Btw, one of the best parts of those 2 hours was seeing the trailer for a new spoof called Epic Film, spoofing..you guessed it, epic blockbuster films from the last few years. Usually I get bored with spoofs pretty easily, but this one sounds pretty damn funny. Also, I saw the OotP trailer on the big screen. g.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

Hmm, I'll see if I can find the trailer for Epic Film anywhere online and take a look. Thanks for the head's up!

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

Pretty much what set the tone for me with Bram Stoker's Dracula was Gary in his Grey's Anatomy vivid red musculature armor.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

Ah on that one for me it was the accent. Gary's "I'm Transylvanian...really...trust me" accent which would've embarassed a Hammer Horror director. Painfully, painfully bad.

[phillipalden.livejournal.com]

I saw it today and I enjoyed it. I'm not saying it was cinematic perfection, but I thought it stuck fairly close to the book and it was fun. I think a lot of people just like being critical.

You know what I say to the critics? If you think you can do it better, write a better screenplay and make a better film. I admit that some books/music/movies deserve to be panned, but I also think some people just aren't happy unless they're finding fault with something.

These are usually people who have never written a book or made a movie themselves. Those who cannot do - criticize.