Oh my

[ebonlock]

It would seem the reviews for Eragon are in and it's every bit as wretched as the trailers made me think it would be:

* A load of generic mush perhaps best served as a piece of bitchin' '70s van art.

* For those who love the fantasy genre known as sword and sorcery -- and I count myself in their number -- sitting through the movie version of Eragon will suck the will to live right out of you.

* "Eragon" is based on a book by a 19-year-old with a script that seems to have been written by a 12-year-old.

* Eragon has the courage of its earnest, borderline-humorless convictions.

* It's a large-scale fantasy that plays like a rerun... Paolini began his novel when he was 15, and the simplicity of 'Eragon'... might bring back memories of high school writing workshops.

* It's mostly just a bunch of actors trying to look involved while attempting to act through their bad wigs and Studio 54 reject outfits.

* Eragon's fantastical milieu may be third-class Lord of the Rings, but its story--in what may constitute the most shameless act of plagiarism known to American cinema--is pure Star Wars.

* Been to that galaxy, done that ring.

Comments

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

You know what did it for me in the trailer? I mean besides the fact that Jeremy Irons had that same "Dear god what am I doing with my career?" look on his face that he had in "Dungeons and Dragons"...the costumes. I mean one look at the armor and all I could think was, "I'd be embarassed to show up in any of that shit at a LARP for crying out loud." I'm sure that makes me hideously shallow, but if I can't look at the characters without wincing there's no way I can make it through the film. Maybe I'll try the book at some point but I think I'll pass on the movie.

[canellaphile.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha... no, avoid the film at all costs then. Honestly, I'd be happy with more made-for-TV SciFi network mini-series adaptations than these star-embarassed epic flicks.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

It was one thing to dress people like that in the 80's in stuff like Krull, but really, haven't we evolved past that? I mean LOTR set the new standard for fantasy epics, people, get with the damn program.

[canellaphile.livejournal.com]

Btw, one of the best parts of those 2 hours was seeing the trailer for a new spoof called Epic Film, spoofing..you guessed it, epic blockbuster films from the last few years. Usually I get bored with spoofs pretty easily, but this one sounds pretty damn funny. Also, I saw the OotP trailer on the big screen. g.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

Hmm, I'll see if I can find the trailer for Epic Film anywhere online and take a look. Thanks for the head's up!

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

Pretty much what set the tone for me with Bram Stoker's Dracula was Gary in his Grey's Anatomy vivid red musculature armor.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

Ah on that one for me it was the accent. Gary's "I'm Transylvanian...really...trust me" accent which would've embarassed a Hammer Horror director. Painfully, painfully bad.