ebonlock | It's Crrrraaaap!

Dude, you can now read the first 5 chapters of Orson Scott Card's "opus retardus", Empire, here:

They had killed no one in front of these villagers, and in fact they had killed no one, ever, anywhere. Yet there was something about them, their alertness, the way they moved, that gave warning, the way a tiger gives warning simply by the fluidity of its movement and the alertness of its eyes.

Being a child of the 80's I now have "Eye of the Tiger" playing on an infinite loop in my head. And I would just like to say that it makes me want to stab somebody in the head when I realize that this guy is getting paid gobs of money to write this shite while actually talented writers remain unpublished. It's just appalling.

But the comment thread on Sadly, No! in response to their link to OSC's schlock included this gem that had to be shared:

#

Smiling Mortician said,

I’m so confused. I sent away for the membership forms to join Teh Radical Left, which just arrived. But I can’t figure out what to do with this section of the questionnaire:

I am most interested in (check one):

___ establishing a eurofagocracy and imposing homonups on everyone
___ establishing an islamotheocracy and criminalizing Christmas
___ nuking red states and running through stragglers with a bayonet
___ providing free tofu, granola and hemp for whales

I mean, why must I choose?

Decisions, decisions. I think I'd have to go with the first and fourth option, though option three has a certain lizard-brain appeal I must admit.