It's Crrrraaaap!

[ebonlock]

Dude, you can now read the first 5 chapters of Orson Scott Card's "opus retardus", Empire, here:

They had killed no one in front of these villagers, and in fact they had killed no one, ever, anywhere. Yet there was something about them, their alertness, the way they moved, that gave warning, the way a tiger gives warning simply by the fluidity of its movement and the alertness of its eyes.

Being a child of the 80's I now have "Eye of the Tiger" playing on an infinite loop in my head. And I would just like to say that it makes me want to stab somebody in the head when I realize that this guy is getting paid gobs of money to write this shite while actually talented writers remain unpublished. It's just appalling.

But the comment thread on Sadly, No! in response to their link to OSC's schlock included this gem that had to be shared:

#

Smiling Mortician said,

I’m so confused. I sent away for the membership forms to join Teh Radical Left, which just arrived. But I can’t figure out what to do with this section of the questionnaire:

I am most interested in (check one):

___ establishing a eurofagocracy and imposing homonups on everyone
___ establishing an islamotheocracy and criminalizing Christmas
___ nuking red states and running through stragglers with a bayonet
___ providing free tofu, granola and hemp for whales

I mean, why must I choose?

Decisions, decisions. I think I'd have to go with the first and fourth option, though option three has a certain lizard-brain appeal I must admit.

Comments

[rexluscus.livejournal.com]

But he WAS talented...ONCE! *cries for the lost potential*

Being a child of the 80's I now have "Eye of the Tiger" playing on an infinite loop in my head.

I totally heard that song on the radio today! Oh man, solid gold cheese!

Also, I met somebody named Luca the other day and instantly got "My Name Is Luka" by Suzanne Vega stuck in my head for, like, ever.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry you were forced to endure that on the radio. I actually lucked out this morning and turned on the radio to find "Honkeytonk Women" playing. I immediately turned it way up and sang along on my way into the office.

[rexluscus.livejournal.com]

Oh man I LOVE that song. I think I'm gonna play it right now. :)

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

I'm desperately trying to make it fit into my soundtrack for my next fic...

[moonlightnrain.livejournal.com]

Bwahahahaha. I have to see how you manage to fit that in. :)

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

I had a rather wicked idea regarding Remus and an accomodating lady of the night when he thinks Severus has abandoned him...

[moonlightnrain.livejournal.com]

*giggles* That's a rather wicked idea, indeed. Even if it doesn't end up in the fic, I'd love to read it as a separate piece. :)

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

Oh jeez, songfic...this may have to be done...

[moonlightnrain.livejournal.com]

Songfic? No, we'd never stoop to that. ;)

By the way, A Fine Romance should be up, all in one chunk, in about an hour.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

Yay, it'll finally be up officially :)

[ellid.livejournal.com]

I've never had much use for Orson Scott Card's writing, and what little interest I had died completely after I learned that the Alvin Maker series is a thinly disguised fantasy version of the Book of Mormon. He's a homophobe and has gone increasingly off the deep end politically, and I really wish he'd take his awards and go away.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

I believe one of the commenters said something to the effect of, OSC wrote a brilliant first novel and has spent the years since convincing us all that the first novel was most certainly a fluke. I read "Ender's Game" but saw the finale well before I got that far in the book. It seemed a rather vicious and ugly novel to me, but perhaps I missed out on some hidden genius in it.

[ellid.livejournal.com]

I also wish he'd stop calling himself a Democrat, since he's one in name only.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

Oh jeez, is he one of those, "I didn't leave the party, the party left me" types?

[moonlightnrain.livejournal.com]

It took me forever to figure out what homonups meant, but yeah, I'd go with that choice. Most whales can't eat tofu or granola. ;)

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

Still, we should at least offer them the tofu and granola as it will be the enforced diet for all loyal comrades in the People's Republic of Homonupia.

[moonlightnrain.livejournal.com]

Yes, and the dissidents shall eat Soylent Green.

PS: You're gonna wet yourself over tonight's BSG. :)

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

Damn good thing my cable's back, then.

[moonlightnrain.livejournal.com]

I *did* offer.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

And I appreciated the offer, I'm just not fit company for anyone tonight. Though I will try to be tomorrow night, promise.

[moonlightnrain.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I completely understand.

And does that mean we're going tomorrow??? :)

I've been listening to Beatles stuff ALL DAY.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

As long as I'm not doubled over in pain, yep. Say, you think tersa would be up for it?

[moonlightnrain.livejournal.com]

I'll ask.

[moonlightnrain.livejournal.com]

She declined. If you're not feeling well, though, I'm sure we'll find another time to see them.