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[personal profile] ebonlock
I got to be a troublemaker yesterday, it was fun.

See I have a low tolerance for mean people. I can handle ignorance a helluva lot easier than I can viciousness, the latter makes me want to strike back. And when I saw an ungrateful little snot verbally humilliating and attacking a very nice co-worker online I intervened. Partially it was my responsibility to do so as it fell under my jurisdiction, however I could've taken the easy route and simply deleted the little brat's registration and banned him from the site. Instead I tracked him down and put him in his place publically in front of all his little buddies (which also happens to be where he was attempting to insult my co-worker).

The funny thing is that while on my "Vengeance is mine!" kick I managed to open up a dialogue with some actually cool and intelligent folks who I might not otherwise have ever interacted with. I'm talking to our site's users and actually figuring out what they do and don't want. They're happy, I'm feeling productive and we're doing something positive for a change.

Then this morning the original little snot called me a "slut".

That word bugs me, profoundly. Trust some little shit to come up with the one really effective button to push. See when I was a teenager I have a vivid memory of walking through a parking lot to the mall. I was dressed normally, some shorts and a t-shirt and was going in to pick up some stuff. Before I reached the door this car drove by and a guy leaned out the window growling, "Slut!" at me. I remember pausing a second or two, looking at myself and wondering, "-the fuck?"

I wasn't dressed provocatively, wasn't acting in any way sexually. I just wanted to go buy a book at the bookstore.

Long after I'd stopped thinking about the incident the word stuck with me, a little voice in the back of my head. I don't like assumptions being made about my sexuality (or lack thereof as the case may be), particularly by complete strangers. It bothers me sometimes, do I come off in a provocative way? I mean I've always been pretty comfortable with my body and I don't have huge issues with showing off parts or all of it. Maybe I'm too comfortable with it, or maybe it has nothing to do with that at all.

I dunno', it just makes me feel kind of weird this morning, unsettled. I know there's nothing to it, it's just a brat mouthing off. Still...

Date: 2002-10-24 09:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] senatorhatty.livejournal.com
It's hard not to let the perceptions of other people have at least a little power. But really, you can control the amount of power they have. And REALLY REALLY, that punkass (and the guy in the truck, for that matter) doesn't have any basis for anything like an accurate perception of you.

Does the word "slut" in and of itself bug you (as it does me, outside of certain specific contexts)? Or are you only bothered when it is applied to you? And what's the basis? Are you really concerned about what Joe White Trash thinks? Is there something in your upbringing that you can't shake that makes you think "My gosh, what if I AM a slut?"

And anyway, how do you define "slut," as opposed to, say, "libertine"?

This society is pretty conflicted about sex and sexuality, so it's not surprising that it would be a trigger word. But honestly, I suspect that people who say "slut" outside of the context of talking dirty probably don't even KNOW the word "libertine," and they more than likely have serious sexual hangups of their own.

So, uh. Smile!

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