I'm the Horned One. The Devil. Let me give you my card.

[ebonlock]

I got to be a troublemaker yesterday, it was fun.

See I have a low tolerance for mean people. I can handle ignorance a helluva lot easier than I can viciousness, the latter makes me want to strike back. And when I saw an ungrateful little snot verbally humilliating and attacking a very nice co-worker online I intervened. Partially it was my responsibility to do so as it fell under my jurisdiction, however I could've taken the easy route and simply deleted the little brat's registration and banned him from the site. Instead I tracked him down and put him in his place publically in front of all his little buddies (which also happens to be where he was attempting to insult my co-worker).

The funny thing is that while on my "Vengeance is mine!" kick I managed to open up a dialogue with some actually cool and intelligent folks who I might not otherwise have ever interacted with. I'm talking to our site's users and actually figuring out what they do and don't want. They're happy, I'm feeling productive and we're doing something positive for a change.

Then this morning the original little snot called me a "slut".

That word bugs me, profoundly. Trust some little shit to come up with the one really effective button to push. See when I was a teenager I have a vivid memory of walking through a parking lot to the mall. I was dressed normally, some shorts and a t-shirt and was going in to pick up some stuff. Before I reached the door this car drove by and a guy leaned out the window growling, "Slut!" at me. I remember pausing a second or two, looking at myself and wondering, "-the fuck?"

I wasn't dressed provocatively, wasn't acting in any way sexually. I just wanted to go buy a book at the bookstore.

Long after I'd stopped thinking about the incident the word stuck with me, a little voice in the back of my head. I don't like assumptions being made about my sexuality (or lack thereof as the case may be), particularly by complete strangers. It bothers me sometimes, do I come off in a provocative way? I mean I've always been pretty comfortable with my body and I don't have huge issues with showing off parts or all of it. Maybe I'm too comfortable with it, or maybe it has nothing to do with that at all.

I dunno', it just makes me feel kind of weird this morning, unsettled. I know there's nothing to it, it's just a brat mouthing off. Still...

Comments

[esmerel.livejournal.com]

Haven't a clue. Almost sounds like something Viggo's satan would say in The Prophecy. But i couldn't say, since I've never seen it :)

ANd the little snot probably thinks you're getting some. Since he's obviously too much of a turd to get any, that makes you a slut. Oh, and you're female and in a position of power over him. That means you had to have been one to get there. Chalk it up to the little shit's feelings of inadequacy. Be a bitch, It's good for you. :)

Re:

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

Haven't a clue. Almost sounds like something Viggo's satan would say in The Prophecy. But i couldn't say, since I've never seen it :)

Close, but no gold star.

ANd the little snot probably thinks you're getting some. Since he's obviously too much of a turd to get any, that makes you a slut. Oh, and you're female and in a position of power over him. That means you had to have been one to get there. Chalk it up to the little shit's feelings of inadequacy. Be a bitch, It's good for you. :)

I asked a co-worker if responding with, "I'm sorry, I don't get paid enough to be called names by a bunch of illiterate virgins." would be inappropriate. She said it probably would, but that it would also be hillarious.

[eilonwey.livejournal.com]

Wow. I'm amazed that he had such a sophisticated word in his vocabulary, considering that he seems to behave like a 2-year-old.

I think it's wonderful that you are comfortable with your body. It's all too easy for people to trot out the word "slut" when they see a self-confident, beautiful woman.

[senatorhatty.livejournal.com]

It's hard not to let the perceptions of other people have at least a little power. But really, you can control the amount of power they have. And REALLY REALLY, that punkass (and the guy in the truck, for that matter) doesn't have any basis for anything like an accurate perception of you.

Does the word "slut" in and of itself bug you (as it does me, outside of certain specific contexts)? Or are you only bothered when it is applied to you? And what's the basis? Are you really concerned about what Joe White Trash thinks? Is there something in your upbringing that you can't shake that makes you think "My gosh, what if I AM a slut?"

And anyway, how do you define "slut," as opposed to, say, "libertine"?

This society is pretty conflicted about sex and sexuality, so it's not surprising that it would be a trigger word. But honestly, I suspect that people who say "slut" outside of the context of talking dirty probably don't even KNOW the word "libertine," and they more than likely have serious sexual hangups of their own.

So, uh. Smile!

[tersa.livejournal.com]

I'm the Horned One. The Devil. Let me give you my card.

I lurved Viggo in Prophecy, but the only thing I could think of was Al Pacino's character in Devil's Advocate. I could look up the character name on IMDB.com, but I'm lazy. :)

Re:

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

Again, a great guess, but I'm afraid not. I'll give you a hint, it's an older film that was remade not so very long ago.

Words as weapons

[(Anonymous)]

It's funny how you can say or be called almost anything but one word or saying can cut to the quick of a person, I find as someone who lives on his wit (read smart-ass) sometimes it only takes one word to totally shake me even if I know the person is only kidding, now in this case its merely a case of a young boy (read man) in a battle of wits with a woman and where as most men are at a significant disadvantage in a battle of words, this one bailed out quickly and used a walk away word (after you walk away or yell out the window while driving away quickly) in hopes of scoring a hit in a last ditch effort sort of "I'm gonna take my ball and go home" and remember 'slut' is a word invented by men to describe themselves so I guess what he really said was your a 'man' which would be an insult as your so much more.
Just some thoughts from where the snow flies, John

Re: Words as weapons

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

It's just such an ugly word, so...demeaning, it's never comfortable to have it aimed at you. Still, I guess it could've been worse, I mean he may have actually had a brain and used it to come up with some inventive put down.

Anyway, is it really snowing out there yet?

[jakejr.livejournal.com]

Y'know, normally I'm beaten to these, but for a change I haven't been, so...

Bedazzled.

Re:

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

Yeah! Gold star for you!!!

[tersa.livejournal.com]

I got it with the hint! Just not soon enough.

My eBay auction call is stronger. Only 7 more minutes... :)

Re:

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

Oh dear, what have you gone and bid on I wonder. I was bad the other day and bid on a pair of hook swords (think the final Michelle Yoeh fight in Crouching Tiger), before I could control myself }:)

[jakejr.livejournal.com]

Well, I had it without the hint. So there. :-)

The double standard

[phillipalden.livejournal.com]

I can walk around almost anywhere is shorts and a tight t-shirt and nobody says a word or even pays much attention. But women are both stared at then degraded for wearing anything labeled as "suggestive." Words hurt, and the eating disorders and image problems among American women shows just how much words can hurt.

Hurtful words (especially those thrown at us from our "peers" in adolescence) can damage us for years, sometimes for good. I'm working on forming an anti-hate group right now (more details soon) with the goal of reducing the hurt Fred Phelps causes when he shows up at public events. (For more info on Fred see his highly offensive web site: www.godhatesfags.com)

The way to counter people who use words to hate is to confront them without hate or anger. Some can be shamed, some have no shame, some are just goblins in human form.

I respect you. I don't think you are a "slut." I think you are a beautiful woman and a beautiful person. Point me at the next person who insults you and we can kick their ass, without hate or anger of course.