EVERYONE SIT DOWN AND SHUT THE GODDAMN HELL UP.

[ebonlock]

cleolinda has her latest masterpiece up over on her m15m list: HP: And the Prisoner of Azkaban
Fave quote:

SNAPE: EVERYONE SIT DOWN AND SHUT THE GODDAMN HELL UP.

CLEO: Dude, this is so totally how I would teach a class.


Although the repeated use of "I think I saw a porno like this once." is also quite masterful.

Heard on the radio today somebody saying there was talk of putting Reagan's face on the ten dollar bill. *sigh*

Oh, got my first b-day present from my sis in London. She always manages to give me much cooler gifts than I do her, but she's in London fer chrissakes so I refuse to feel bad about that. I now have a very cool book, a gorgeous museum replica silver ring (with the inscription "Think of me, God willing" in French with a little crossed heart) and the most gorgeous skirt I've ever seen. Good thing I've got some parties coming up that I can wear it to. Although if I should put on even an ounce it will cease to fit.



Watched two episodes last night and I felt slightly dirty by the end. Saw the one with the ball during which I kept screaming at the captain and courtesan characters, "Jesus god will you two please just fuck each other?!" Most. Painfully. Unrealistic. Sexual. Tension. Ever. One cute scene with the pilot and a mostly naked Gina Torres could not cancel out the evil that is Kaylee (or as I refer to her, "Smurfette") and the most HIDEOUS DRESS IN THE UNIVERSE! Argh, my eyes, my eyes!

But not even that ep could prepare me for the horror that was "Safe". I kept looking for Joel and the bots in the lower part of the screen and realizing sadly that they weren't going to be able to save me. This thing didn't have plot holes, it had plot chasms, and I kept moaning "Joss, why hast thou forsaken me?" I know he can do better, I've seen it, so what the hell went wrong? Does this series mark Whedon's descent into crack addiction? It would explain so much.

If it was just me I'd think perhaps I was just some cynical old grouch, but Aelf was right there with me. We actually had to sit and grouse about "Safe" until we'd gotten it out of our systems. Neither of us could bear watching any more, but we're determined to make it as far as "Out of Gas" as I've heard it's a great episode and may change my mind. Unless it includes Kaylee's horrible, bloody, agonizing death I'm not sure if can save the series for me. Lord knows if I'd seen "Safe" (or more likely, only part of it) during its original run I'd never have even attempted to watch the show.

Right, end rant.

Comments

[centerfire.livejournal.com]

I thought Shindig and Safe were two of the weaker episodes, admittedly. But if nothing else there's some nice character development bits there.

I'm not sure why you say that the sexual tension between Inara and Mal is unrealistic. I agree that Shindig lays it on pretty thick, though.

I think the reason I like Kaylee is that she's such a departure from all those serious-minded Starfleet engineers we've had for decades. But the dress was godawful.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

I thought Shindig and Safe were two of the weaker episodes, admittedly. But if nothing else there's some nice character development bits there.

Maybe I blinked and missed it, but what character development exactly? As near as I can tell the captain sort of teeters wildly between obnoxious asshole and Shane-type "man of few words and fists of steel". Kaylee is restricted to "Gosh, aren't I cute?" (rest of crew, "Gee, she's cute, isn't she?").
Jayne is pretty much, "I SHOOT YOU!" (which, I might add, I kinda respect), Zoe is "I'm hot, but also tough, like Xena in Han Solo pants.", the pilot "Dude I'm married to Gina Torres.", Doc "Ack, must save sister!", Sister "I'm just a plot point with bad hair.", Preacher "I'm straight from an abbey and unused to the harsh ways of your universe, except when I am used to them, and did I mention I have super secret and cool Alliance ties?"

I'm not sure why you say that the sexual tension between Inara and Mal is unrealistic. I agree that Shindig lays it on pretty thick, though.

Uh 'cause Mal is mostly a prick to her for one, but if we could've at least had this element developed rather than Joss and the writers simply saying, "Oh and by the way, these two are hot for each other but won't be jumping into bed any time soon." But frankly I can't think of a reason why any woman without some serious masochistic tendencies would want this guy.


I think the reason I like Kaylee is that she's such a departure from all those serious-minded Starfleet engineers we've had for decades. But the dress was godawful.

And I've got no problem with a departure from that standard, none. What I do have a problem with is that it's like she should be friggin' animated or something. She's the heroine from some Disney flick that happens to know how to fix engines. I suppose if the writers didn't keep bitch slapping the audience with how fucking cute she's supposed to be I could shrug it off. But Jesus, I'm waiting for little animated bluebirds to land on her fingers at any second.