Could it be...Satan?

Stephen Colbert covered this one last night, and his plan to combat it with Lou Dobbs and holy water was hysterical, but I just had to share the actual article with you. Yes, the GOP has now become Very Silly Party. The last train to Sanityville has left the station:

Convention ends with Satan and immigrants

Utah County Republicans ended their convention on Saturday by debating Satan's influence on illegal immigrants.

The group was unable to take official action because not enough members stuck around long enough to vote, despite the pleadings of party officials. The convention was held at Canyon View Junior High School.

Don Larsen, chairman of legislative District 65 for the Utah County Republican Party, had submitted a resolution warning that Satan's minions want to eliminate national borders and do away with sovereignty.

In a speech at the convention, Larsen told those gathered that illegal immigrants "hate American people" and "are determined to destroy this country, and there is nothing they won't do."

Illegal aliens are in control of the media, and working in tandem with Democrats, are trying to "destroy Christian America" and replace it with "a godless new world order -- and that is not extremism, that is fact," Larsen said. [Editor's note: Do you suppose by "godless new world order" he's referring to the neo-pagan conspiracy to take over the world and fill it with gay bathhouses and clone farms? If not I'm going to be so disappointed.]

At the end of his speech, Larsen began to cry, saying illegal immigrants were trying to bring about the destruction of the U.S. "by self invasion." [Editor's note: I would pay good money to see the video of this. SWEAR. TO. GOD.]

Republican officials then allowed speakers to defend and refute the resolution. One speaker, who was identified as "Joe," said illegal immigrants were Marxist and under the influence of the devil. Another, who declined to give her name to the Daily Herald, said illegal immigrants should not be allowed because "they are not going to become Republicans and stop flying the flag upside down. ... If they want to be Americans, they should learn to speak English and fly their flag like we do."
[...]
Larsen was allowed to finish the debate with a one-minute speech.

"If the Democrats take over the country, we will be dead, and we will have abortion and partial-birth abortion and the Republican Party will go into extinction," he said. "Nancy Pelosi and the ACLU would oppose this (resolution)."

Caleb Warnock

*snarf*

Ok I admit that it's totally immature to find this as hillarious as I do, so don't even bother telling me to grow up:

To say these are dangerous times is to barely understand what we are going through. Right now, there is a finger in the dyke - President Bush, who stands firm.

One assumes that Mark Noonan of Blogs for Bush meant "dike", then again, it is Noonan...And hey, moonlightnrain already went there in an earlier post's comments so :P~~

In comments at Sadly, No! Doc Nebula presents us with this:

KARL: ::bursting into Oval Office in a mad frenzy:: Mr. President! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!! GET YOUR FINGER OUT OF THAT DYKE!!!

PREZ: Turd Blossom, what the hay-ull are yew talkin’ ’bout?

KARL: THE DYKE! THE DYKE! MARK NOONAN SAYS YOU’VE GOT YOUR FINGER IN THE DYKE OF IRAQ!!! Jesus, sir, that’s nearly a Bill Clinton level transgression! GET YOUR FINGER OUT OF THAT ARABIC LESBIAN WOMAN SIR!!!!

CONDI: I am NOT a lesbian. OR Arabic.

DICK: Karl, I think there’s been a basic error here. Georgie has his finger in the ‘dike’ of Iraq — D - I - K - E. “An artificial earthen wall, constructed as a defense or as a boundary. It is also known in American English as a levee.” Not the ‘dyke’ of Iraq, D-Y-K-E, a somewhat denigrating colloquial expression for, among other things, my daughter.

KARL: What? But the article specifically stated D-Y-K-E…

PREZ: Turd Blossom, I done told yew agin an’ agin. Yew do all that there readin’, yew gonna rot your brain. Heh. ‘Finger in the dyke of Iraq.’ That’s good.

CONDI: Don’t get any ideas, dear. I don’t swing that way.