(no subject)

[ebonlock]

I tried...gods know I tried. I really, really, really tried. I don't like admitting to failure, indeed I quite hate it but this time I really feel I must.

I just can't read Twilight.

I mean I knew it was bad, lord knows I've read enough people who've mocked it thoroughly and well over the past few months. I didn't pay much attention because I had no intention of going anywhere near it. I figured it was probably pretty lame but at least marginally entertaining as so many people were into it. And hey I didn't particularly like Harry Potter until about book 3 so...

But...MY...GOD. This book isn't just bad, it's epically, tragically awful. I actually felt like my brain was slowly dissolving in my skull and dribbling out of my ears. I wasn't just horrified that this got published, I was embarrassed that it was written in a shared language. I felt like apologizing to every Mary Sue fanfic writer I'd ever mocked in my life. At least they weren't getting paid for their dreck.

Nor did they have movie deals.

By page 50 where Bella and Edward finally exchange awkward and highly improbable dialogue I'd had enough. I already established that I wanted Bella (a less appealing teen character I have yet to meet, and of course the book's from her point of view) and the entire oh so beautiful vampire clan to die horribly tasting their own blood. I actively wanted to stab them all. That realization convinced me that I had better ways to spend my time.

I know my sisters will be disappointed with me and that they and my niece actively enjoy the books but...no. Seriously, it's not worth the sanity points I'd be losing by continuing. I think I'll just read The Zombie Survival Guide instead.

Comments

[melimus.livejournal.com]

Well it isn't for us. Its for teens and they love it. I would hate to be held accountable for my earlier taste or lack there of. . .Witch World anyone? Dragon Riders of Pern?

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

Dude I would happily put Dragon Riders of Pern up against Twilight. Indeed I would put the Harper Hall trilogy up against it as well. Everything that was produced after McCaffrey lost her freakin' mind, not so much.

[reluctantgenius.livejournal.com]

I have quite fond memories of Pern. I suspect reading it again might spoil that, but I may have to try anyway. There have been some other books I've re-read that have been interesting because I learned, for instance, where I got the idea that competence was the true measure of a man - from Heinlein.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

I think the Pern books hold up and I re-read them quite a lot over the past 20 or so years.

[reluctantgenius.livejournal.com]

The other author that was big when I was in high school was Piers Anthony. Even at the time, I found most of them pretty horrible.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

I liked a few of them until the puns became too painful.

[reluctantgenius.livejournal.com]

It was the puerile sexuality that got me.