(no subject)

[ebonlock]

Ok so Monday as I was leaving work I noticed a voice mail message on my phone and I listened to it and it was this very excited young man attempting to reach someone called Bill H- and quite convinced that I was his only hope of reaching him. He assured me he had good news for Bill and would really appreciate it if I could get back to him with his new number.

I paused and ran through every Bill I'd ever known and quickly came to the conclusion that I didn't know any Bill H- so I offered up a silent apology, shrugged and pretty much forgot about it. Then today I get home to find a Fed Ex package addressed to, you guessed it, Bill H-. Now the best part is the return address is on L. Ron Hubbard Way.

I'm led to the inescapable conclusion that Bill H- is on the run from the Scientologists. Really it's the only thing that makes sense. Now the moral conundrum is do I help them locate Bill, hoping their intentions are benign? Decisions decisions...

Seriously I'll head over to the manager's office on Friday and see if she's got the guy's address to forward the package on to him. What I'd like to know is how the guy attempting to find Bill (who presumably lived in my apartment before I moved in) got my cell phone number. Very curious indeed.

BTW, the person who comes up with the best reason for the Scientologists to be after Bill wins the internets tonight.

Also Happy New Year everyone!

Comments

[scoreboard.livejournal.com]

Plainly Bill H is either:

1) Suri Cruise's real father

2) Tom Cruise's gay lover

or

3) the guy with the power to greenlight Battlefield Earth II.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

Jesus, if it's number 3 I'll kill the bastard myself...

[ellid.livejournal.com]

I would contact Federal Express, tell them that there is no Bill H at your address, and have them pick up the package for return to sender. I would also call the excited young man and tell him that you do not know a Bill H, and that you do not wish to be contacted again. If you receive further mailings or telephone calls, call the police or have a lawyer send a polite cease and desist letter. This sounds really hinky.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

Yeah, like I say I'll talk to the manager first but contact FedEx in either case. Haven't heard back from Mr. Excited so I'm not too worried about that. Really I'm much more intrigued by the whole Scientology angle right now. :)

prank?

[elo-sf.livejournal.com]

Could it be a prank someone played to sign up and they gave a fake name?

(Lot's of folks use to send the book of mormon, comes with free mormon missionaries as a joke.)

Re: prank?

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

It's an awfully complex prank, and I do know that a guy rented my place before I moved in so it's possible it's just meant for him. Still don't know how my phone number got involved, though...

Re: prank?

[elo-sf.livejournal.com]

Unsure, but again if prank "Ellie D" would be more likely too, just seemed simpler.

[esmerel.livejournal.com]

Bill is obviously the second coming of Xenu.

[murdoch.livejournal.com]

The envelope was full of anti-thetans.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

[murdoch.livejournal.com]

You'll never know without opening the box. Schroedinger's Thetan.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

Dude, guess what's sitting outside my door right now. 5 cases of L. Ron Hubbard lecture cd's. I shit you not.