(no subject)

[ebonlock]

You know I saw the trailer for 10,000 B.C. before some movie or other and I remember sitting there with my jaw hanging open. I mean as soon as I realized they had wooly mammoths building pyramids my brain just locked up. Seriously the letters WTF were hovering over my head in big neon lights.

So I knew it was going to be wretched, but until I read the actual description of the film, I didn't know just how wretched. Check it:

From director Roland Emmerich comes a sweeping odyssey into a mythical age of prophesies and gods, when spirits rule the land and mighty mammoths shake the earth. In a remote mountain tribe, the young hunter, D’Leh (Steven Strait), has found his heart’s passion – the beautiful Evolet (Camilla Belle). When a band of mysterious warlords raid his village and kidnap Evolet, D’Leh is forced to lead a small group of hunters to pursue the warlords to the end of the world to save her. Driven by destiny, the unlikely band of warriors must battle saber-tooth tigers and prehistoric predators and, at their heroic journey’s end, they uncover a Lost Civilization. Their ultimate fate lies in an empire beyond imagination, where great pyramids reach into the skies. Here they will take their stand against a powerful god who has brutally enslaved their people.

Yes, my friends, this film actually got funding and was made. It's real, it's really real. Just reading that made my brain ache like I'd just eaten too much ice cream too fast.

Words fail...

Comments

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

Wait. So ... it's ten thousand years BCE.
And... they've discovered a Lost Civilization. (Caps entirely theirs.)
I hope the powerful god brutally kicks Roland Emmerich's ass.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

Yeah Reality's over in the corner weeping quietly on Historical Accuracy's shoulder. Me, I'm just trying to keep my head from exploding.

[moonlightnrain.livejournal.com]

That made my brain hurt almost as much as this:

[ebongreen.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I saw that last night too. I don't think the folks @ Coca-Cola meant it to be an ironic commentary on the similarities & chumminess in the "two-party" system. I took it as such anyway. :-,

[eska-rina.livejournal.com]

Eeh, this sounds like a fun movie!

I've a long ime ago dropped believing in any sort of historical correctness when it comes to movies *shrug*

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

I think it could be fun if I were either very, very high or very, very drunk.

[kirylyn.livejournal.com]

but.. did it get funding and made because the script well is that dry?

silver lining? it doesn't have either Pauly Shore or Adam Sandler in it.

not that I have any plans on going to see it.

Narnia, yes
caveman bc? oh hell no

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

silver lining? it doesn't have either Pauly Shore or Adam Sandler in it.

My god you're right, it actually could've been worse. Although if it had starred either I'd have to consider that a sure sign that the end times had come.

[elenderel.livejournal.com]

My first thought was, this is some weird form of low-tech Stargate morphed into Jean Auel's "Earth's Children" (i.e., "Clan of the Cave Bear") series with a bit of "Caveman" thrown in just for, uh, fun. My second thought was ... Please no.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

Caveman is exactly where my brain went too...