My name is Ann Coulter and I am quite, quite mad

[ebonlock]

Oh dear, it seems the dust up from the CPAC fiasco has finally caused Ms. Coulter to descend even deeper into the depths of FruitLoop-dom. Sadly, No! presents us with the latest of her mad monkey-like screeches:

LET THEM EAT TOFU!

Even right-wingers who know that “global warming” is a crock do not seem to grasp what the tree-huggers are demanding. Liberals want mass starvation and human devastation.
[...]
Simply consider what noted climatologists Al Gore and Melissa Etheridge are demanding that we do to combat their nutty conjectures about “global warming.” They want us to starve the productive sector of fossil fuel and allow the world’s factories to grind to a halt. This means an end to material growth and a cataclysmic reduction in wealth. [Gavin M. adds: And then we unleash the giant metal insects.]
[...]
Liberals are already comfortably ensconced in their beachfront estates, which they expect to be unaffected by their negative growth prescriptions for the rest of us. [Editor's note: So liberals want to stop global warming to save their precious beachfront estates? Wait...I have a beachfront estate? Did I miss a memo?]
[...]
“Global warming” is the left’s pagan rage against mankind. If we can’t produce industrial waste, then we can’t produce. [Editor's note: Ok I must admit I rather like the concept of "pagan rage", score one for insane shopping cart lady.]
[...]
Some of us — not the ones with mansions in Malibu and Nashville is my guess — are going to have to die. To say we need to reduce our energy consumption is like saying we need to reduce our oxygen consumption.
[...]
But global warming is the most insane, psychotic idea liberals have ever concocted to kill off “useless eaters.” [Gavin M. adds: Ever? Even more than the time machine we built to drop bubonic plague bombs on the Lost Kingdom of Unicornia, to prevent Sparkly the Unicorn from developing her Universal Prosperity Ray?
That was pretty insane, Ann. We’re beginning to think you have a tendency to exaggerate for effect.]
[...]
If we have to live in a pure “natural” environment like the Indians, then our entire transcontinental nation can only support about 1 million human beings. Sorry, fellas — 299 million of you are going to have to go.
[...]
Without trucking, packaging, manufacturing, shipping and refrigeration in their Bel-Air fantasy world, they’ll be chasing the rear-end of an animal every time their stomachs growl and killing small animals for pelts to keep their genitals warm. [Editor's note: Ok I now know way more about Ann's sexual fantasy life than I ever wanted to...*shudder*]

Gavin M. ends with: "Seriously now. Better column title: ‘HAIL SEITAN’"

When he's right, he's right.

Comments

[ellid.livejournal.com]

Not only that, about five minutes' research on the Internet would have shown that the Americas supported a population of around 100 million. Most of this was in Central and South America, but North America had a population of something like 15-20 million before the Europeans arrived and brought such modern innovations as land theft, smallpox, and genocide....

As for Ms. Coulter: any chance she can be studied in a zoo? Because I'm not sure she's finished evolving and the anthropologists might be interested.

[canellaphile.livejournal.com]

I am quite agreed about her evolutionary status. Also, I'm just wondering if perhaps she lives in box, or maybe in a "teepee" since she's so fond of Indians.

I'm also not sure she's ever met any Native American people, you know, this century. Newsflash: they don't live in "nature" anymore.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

I'm also reasonably sure she's the one with mansions in Malibu...do you suppose this is some weird form of self-flagellation?

[canellaphile.livejournal.com]

Perhaps she feels guilty for having so much privilege.
*silence*
*dies laughing*

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

Oh come on, research is for elites, you don't form opinions from your mind but your gut, and as we know facts, figures and reality itself all have a liberal bias.

[canellaphile.livejournal.com]

OMG... *headdesk* What planet is Ann Coulter from? She's the kind of nutjob that makes us liberals wonder if there's another, more bizarre sect of liberals out there that we've never heard of, and of which she speaks. It's nice to hear that she doesn't have the brain capacity to envision any other environment/economy relationship than the two extremes, Things The Way They Are and Living In Huts Again.

climatologists Al Gore and Melissa Etheridge
Wow, Melissa Etheridge has really branched out from music lately. I had no idea she was a 'climatologist'...do you need a degree for that? Or just sci-fi novels as your biblical texts?

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

I have to admit I can't wait to see what the woman comes up with next. I mean is it going to come down to liberals creating a giant killer robot army? And how long before she's no longer capable of even forming coherent words, rather spews gibberish and foams at the mouth? I'm thinking not too long.

[canellaphile.livejournal.com]

Giant Killer Robot Army! Yes! I know the perfect location for a secret hangar to build them. It's at my sprawling beach house in Malibu... Let me just move my Prius and secret Hummer.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

Cool, I'll bring along my mid-western slave labor force ("You must earn your crust of bread, red stater, now get to work or you get the lash!") and get right on it!

[lisa-marli.livejournal.com]

It’s scary and stoopid that she should write such an article and get paid for it. What is even scarier is that People Believe Her! And Quote Her and Proclaim her Smart and Excellent.
That Really Scares Me.
I suppose that report thats coming out signed by all the Big Name Scientists with Dire Warnings of Global Warning are actually busy studying Astrology?

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

Actually the NYT just ran a blindingly dumb hit piece on Al Gore (http://gristmill.grist.org/story/2007/3/12/233737/021) that the GristMill dissects ably.

[chrisber.livejournal.com]

I think if you boil off the insanity from this screech, you are left with typical right wing all-or-nothing reasoning. I.e. you can't make trucks less polluting; you either have what we have today, or you scrap all trucks, everywhere. It's the same attitude that leads to "one sip of wine makes you an alcoholic" and "one cookie destroys a diet, so you might as well eat like a pig after that".

Moderation, in this country, seems pretty dead.

[damsels-fly.livejournal.com]

Liberals are already comfortably ensconced in their beachfront estates,
I did not get the memo re: the estates!
Where is MY beach house?!! I demand my beach house!!

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

And don't forget your slave labor force for upkeep. Those mansions don't clean themselves, you know.