Dun, dun, duhhhhhhnnn!
Mar. 9th, 2005 10:18 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ebonlockOne of my favorite blogs, Rising Hegemon has a nice long laugh at the latest SciFi feature film presentation, MANSQUITO (yes, this is real, they're running ads non-stop on the channel for it) and proposes his own feature film concept:
MANATEE
Where the peaceful water dwellers of the Florida Keys, decide to turn the tables of the motorboaters and their propellers in an extremely graphic manner.
It will star Tara Reid and Denise Richards in wet t-shirts or bikini tops as a pair (a quad?) of marine biologists investigating the matter.
We haven't written the script yet, but obviously that is the least important thing about a Sci-Fi movie. I expect VIACOM's Six-Figure Check to arrive at the Rising Hegemon Office Complex (P.O. Box) by early next week.
I propose we turn this into a contest, who can come up with the most ridiculous made for SciFi film concept. Must feature some sort of flora or fauna run amok, C-rate actors whose careers will be flushed further down the toilet by said project, and the population put in peril.
Ex.: Night of the Echidna
A secret cabal of American and Australian military scientists create the ultimate weapon, an army of gigantic echidna. When their genetically enhanced experiments break free and waddle menacingly towards the small outback town of Shit Creek, only a cocky American lieutenant colonel (played by Lorenzo Lamas), a spunky, sultry Aussie scientist (played by Traci Lords), and the sarcastic, fast-talking weapons expert (played by Jim Belushi) can save the day!
MANATEE
Where the peaceful water dwellers of the Florida Keys, decide to turn the tables of the motorboaters and their propellers in an extremely graphic manner.
It will star Tara Reid and Denise Richards in wet t-shirts or bikini tops as a pair (a quad?) of marine biologists investigating the matter.
We haven't written the script yet, but obviously that is the least important thing about a Sci-Fi movie. I expect VIACOM's Six-Figure Check to arrive at the Rising Hegemon Office Complex (P.O. Box) by early next week.
I propose we turn this into a contest, who can come up with the most ridiculous made for SciFi film concept. Must feature some sort of flora or fauna run amok, C-rate actors whose careers will be flushed further down the toilet by said project, and the population put in peril.
Ex.: Night of the Echidna
A secret cabal of American and Australian military scientists create the ultimate weapon, an army of gigantic echidna. When their genetically enhanced experiments break free and waddle menacingly towards the small outback town of Shit Creek, only a cocky American lieutenant colonel (played by Lorenzo Lamas), a spunky, sultry Aussie scientist (played by Traci Lords), and the sarcastic, fast-talking weapons expert (played by Jim Belushi) can save the day!
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no subject
Date: 2005-03-09 08:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-09 08:45 pm (UTC)This is clear blatant plagiarism; the only real difference was that in my version the Spunky Aussie Scientist was played by Lorenzo Lamas.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-09 10:15 pm (UTC)Ian Schelling (Brian Austin Green), a bitter man with a flavorful past decides to inject a neon-colored flowering weed in his backyard with human growth hormone in a misguided attempt to visit revenge upon his ex-wife, Priscella (Elizabeth Berkeley). When the weed grows out of control, threatening not only his neighborhood but the entire world, Schelling joins forces with the gritty head of the local National Guard (Lou Diamond Phillips) to tame the evil plant.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-09 10:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-10 05:09 am (UTC)Plus my stable of C-List actors are all lame or have mange.
Night of the Drag Queen
Mad Scientist Nathan Mehl (Armin Shimmerman) runs a bar in small town Mennenger Ohio, with a small town drag show. But his intentions are less than wholesome--his sinister experiments to isolate the Drag Gene and thus create a race of Super Drag Queens to take over the world have gone undiscovered. Until, that is, girl detective Lauren Rath (Jami Gertz) stumbles across his secret laboratory, behind a hidden door in the Fabulosity Room. The Mad Scientist will stop at nothing to see his secrets kept, and it's up to Rath and her devoted girlfriend (Nancy McKeon) to save the world. Supporting roles include Conraid Bain, Dick Van Patten and Richard Moll as an aging trio of bitchy drag queens who provide the neccessary drag stereotypes, Molly Ringwald as the librarian who knows far too much about this small town's secrets, and Jimmy Baio as the Super Drag Queen in the Climactic Battle at the End of the Movie.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-10 04:12 pm (UTC)My eyes! My eyes! Well, my mental ones anyway. I'm not sure you should be commended for such a concept, institutionalization might be a better option here. And poor Armin!