Lost is back!

[ebonlock]

Whoo, Kate and Not-Sawyer swimmin' in the....HOLY SHIT BODIES! And..uh..woah undies. I hope that's hers 'cause if it's not she's wearing some dead lady's string bikini undies and that's just creepy. Goodness, if that isn't a "Come fuck me" bathing outfit, one wonders if Not-Sawyer is going to take her up on that. Case is retrieved and then Kate feels compelled to play some weird ass mind game with NS. "Oh no I don't want the case, it's not even mine, sooooo not interested. Don't want the case and I most definitely don't want to have sex with you Sawyer. Nope." Let's hear it for Miss Obvious 2005!

Jack and Sayid bicker about moving inland but Sayid's got a point about the whole Rape Caves not being exactly safe. Significant look at Charlie, who looks a lot like Benji in any number of cute puppy movies from the late 70's and early 80's. I was...ahem..rather addicted to the flicks as a kid so I speak from experience here. Aww, Charlie-kins needs a hug.

Jack wants to go see the French lady, Sayid thinks this is a big mistake, "Dood, she bug-fuck crazy. 'Member, the torture and the shooting and the voices?" Point to Sayid.

As the waves come crashing in I can't help but think that after the tragedy in Asia recently, the timing on this episode kinda sucks.

"We're a joke!" Oh Boone, I'm glad that on some primitive level you really are self-aware.

Kate goes all ninja sneaky and tries to steal back her -er the case with a few flashbacks thrown in to make things interesting. Ah, so bank robbery, ey? Front woman for a few thieves, ok, not quite as interesting a back story as I'd hoped, but sure.

Oh hey, old weird lady is back, and she's using her secret mom guilt powers on Charlie. Like the good little Catholic boy he is it's entirely effective. Aww, have I mentioned lately that Charlie is cuter than fluffy kittens?

Sayid tries to get Snicker Ho to actually be, you know, useful and I think SH thinks he's hitting on her. Oh bitch, please! She flirts with the notion of doing something to make herself less of a waste of carbon, but will she? We shall see.

Sawyer kinda looks like that ape in those old Samsonite commercials, remember, the ones with the gorilla trying to bust into someone's luggage? He tries the old "heave it off a tree onto some rocks" trick just in time for Kate to go all Road Runner on his ass. All that was missing was that little *thwang* tongue sticking out sound.

Ah, the big flashback reveal and sure enough Kate's in with the thieves. Shocked, I am *shocked*! Kate also likes her lovin' kinda rough, yeah real stunned there too.

Snickers is so coming on to Sayid and Ellie is so creeped out. Of course I'm also wondering how in the name of the gods all the chicks on this show have such gorgeous, soft, manageable hair after weeks on a mysterious island. It helps to take my mind off of SH making goo-goo eyes at my Sayid. Yeah you read that right, my Sayid.

Kate and Jack share a weird moment and Kate is still playing goddamn mind games that make me want to slap her around. Ok, so the key to the case is in the dead marshal's back pocket. Whoo, first island exhumation! This is entertaining in kind of a sick way.

"Charlie, nobody blames you for what happened to Claire. You did everything you could do, and you came very close to dying yourself."
"Maybe I should've died."
Ok, Charlie has moved way past fluffy kittens on the cute-o-meter, and he needs way more than a hug. He needs some serious sexual healing...aww yeah. Ok, I need to stop that fantasy right there 'cause we're back to the digging up the body thing and um, eww. Man, if I dug up a body and the key wasn't...Christ, Kate you are such a friggin' klepto. Oh dear, Jack's got that "I just dug up a damn body for you! Psycho bitch you are so not worth my effort." Yeah, she'd better turn her sites back on Sawyer (hey, he seemed to find the head butts a turn-on) 'cause Jack is so done.

Snickers is so making shit up, and somehow I don't think she picked up much about "latitude and longitude" with some guy in St. Tropez. Aww, Snickers is all defensive and teary-eyed when Sayid calls her on it and I think we're supposed to feel sorry for her or something. Yes you are a useless, useless excuse for a human being, go suck on that while you lounge on the beach and work on your tan, bint.

Jack marches up to Sawyer and demands the mysterious case and uses his own form of psychological torture but there's some serious slashy subtext in this scene that I'm not sure was entirely unintentional. Heh, ok, now I'm thinking about Sawyer-Jack slash and it's makin' me kinda happy. That's wrong isn't it?

More Kate flashbacks and we find that she's screwing over the other bank robbers, suddenly my respect for her increases. She goes all Lara Croft on their asses and steals an...envelope? Ok. Back to the case and we open it to find most of what we were told was in it, but also an envelope labeled "Personal effects". Well open it! And dear gods Jack if you just walk away before you find out what's in there I'm going to stop thinking about Sawyer/you stories, and then we'll both be sad. A little airplane that belonged to the man she loved...and, uh, killed. Damn... Jack walks away with an expression on his face that I have to interpret as, "Holy shit am I glad I didn't hook up with her!"

Ah, the mass exodus from disappearing death beach up to the edge of the forest, and Charlie appears to have glommed onto old weird lady. Hmmm, mommy issues? So I begin to think that while Locke is creating his own invisible monster naturist cult she's shooting for island priestess. Ok, Charlie crying makes me whimper and forgive the writers for including the whole Christian angle. Well, mostly.

Snickers sidles up to Sayid to share some inane story about animated fish and then bursts into song, oh, "Somewhere Beyond the Sea", got it, cute. Actually she's got almost as nice a voice as the chick who played Christine in the Phantom film. Ok, that's just sad. Anyway, apparently crazy French chick is a big fan of the golden oldies and just kept writing the lyrics over and over on her notes.

Scenes for next week leave me grinning for a variety of reasons:
1) Charlie seems to be recovering from his PTSD.
2) We're getting back to the damn metal shelter/UFO/whatever.
3) Locke clocks Boone, always a good thing!
4) Snickers seems to be getting eaten by the GIANT INVISIBLE MONSTER, this could conceivably be THE BEST EPISODE EVER!

Comments

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

I am wondering if this 'man' is her father, the ex-military person

Mmm, I'm thinking along those lines too. I commented to Aelf last night that I don't think that by "killed" she meant "picked up a gun and shot him" rather "I feel responsible for his death, or did something to facilitate it". In either case she so needed to be booted to the head repeatedly last night. Way to alienate all your future potential mates, dumbass.