Which came first, the Coyote or the Egg?

[ebonlock]

This is just way too much fun:

Invent a memory of me and post it in the comments. It can be anything you want, so long as it's something that's never happened. Then, of course, post this to your journal and see what an interesting life you might have had in a parallel universe.

Comments

[cyranocyrano.livejournal.com]

I'd finally gotten sick of hearing the usual horse shit about how we were making 'great progress!' in the War On Terror(tm). So I decided to show them what terror really was. I impressed you into duty because your car had more cargo space and because I knew you had a secret crush on me.

The President. The Vice President. The Speaker of the House. The President Pro-Tem. The Secretary of State (particularly delicious for me, given his and my past). The Secretary of the Treasury....
One by one we picked them off, using ingenious methods that easily bypassed their 'security' precautions. We caught a few bystanders, but nobody that close to those scumbags could be called innocent. There was the sodium-dusted dinner waiter with vertigo, the dagger carved from ice, the doctored remote control, and (my personal favorite) the bag of 'Jalapeno flavored pork rinds'.
And then any world leader who tried to give us attitude during Operation Reign Of Justice. Yasser Arafat (surprisingly easy, seeing as nobody really gave a crap about him anymore) and Ariel Sharon with matching notes pinned to their blackened corpses--"Terrorists Out of Israel". That mafioso thug who's been running Russia since the last election. Tony Blair, done to death like the Invisible Man in the second 'League' series. A Tour de Force through the African despots that the US was too cowardly to instigate regime change on. And then, just because he's a crazy mother fucker, Kim Jong Il in a public execution that got the highest ratings in North Korean history since the World Cup.

After that it was obvious we needed amnesty, so we fled to someplace that thumbs its nose at all authority, even defying the laws of physics. Which is how we ended up living in exile in Berkeley.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

Tony Blair, done to death like the Invisible Man in the second 'League' series.

Damn, remind me never to get on your bad side ;) Of course you realize now that my LJ is undoubtedly going to be targeted by the Office of Homeland Security, don't you? And I'm not sure even the rogue state of Berkeley will be able to protect us.