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Internal dialogue made external
Aug. 31st, 2004 08:44 amSo I've gotten to bed early and had, what for me is, a good night's sleep for the past two nights. Why, then, do I feel utterly exhausted? Why are the muscles of my neck and shoulders doing that achy, burning thing that pretty much always means, "You're sick"?
I will keep repeating, "No, I'm not." Maybe this will be effective.
Of course this is other parts of the bod chime in. Head/sinuses, dizzy, sore. Stomach, iffy. General energy level, bottoming out. WTF? I was sick in May, goddammit, I refuse to get sick again, especially this close to a major performance.
This, then leads to the "Ok, maybe it's all in your head, you know, stress related. Maybe you're just doing this to get out of DDF because you can't handle the pressure." Yeah, maybe, though I'm not sure if that's good news or bad.
Fuck, fuck, FUCK! Remember for a while there when I actually got along with my body and it generally behaved itself and it was my bestest pal? Well we're back to being truly spiteful enemies. Which makes it that much easier to beat it like a rented mule until it does precisely what I want it to, or collapses completely, whichever comes first.
Right, ok, enough whining, y'all have better things to do than read this crap (that's assuming anyone does read it, I suspect most mutter, "She's just bitching again, I'll scroll on down", and I don't blame you in the slightest). *sigh*
I will keep repeating, "No, I'm not." Maybe this will be effective.
Of course this is other parts of the bod chime in. Head/sinuses, dizzy, sore. Stomach, iffy. General energy level, bottoming out. WTF? I was sick in May, goddammit, I refuse to get sick again, especially this close to a major performance.
This, then leads to the "Ok, maybe it's all in your head, you know, stress related. Maybe you're just doing this to get out of DDF because you can't handle the pressure." Yeah, maybe, though I'm not sure if that's good news or bad.
Fuck, fuck, FUCK! Remember for a while there when I actually got along with my body and it generally behaved itself and it was my bestest pal? Well we're back to being truly spiteful enemies. Which makes it that much easier to beat it like a rented mule until it does precisely what I want it to, or collapses completely, whichever comes first.
Right, ok, enough whining, y'all have better things to do than read this crap (that's assuming anyone does read it, I suspect most mutter, "She's just bitching again, I'll scroll on down", and I don't blame you in the slightest). *sigh*
