I left my hat in Haiti..

[ebonlock]

"...in some forgotten flat in Haiti.
I don't remember how I got there,
I only know it was so..hot there!"

Ahh, "Royal Wedding" was on last night and after the hockey game and laundry it totally doomed my attempt to fit in a nice long walk. But oh it was so worth it! After a day of wild success at work (I got the game I've been pining for, at last!), a big box o' computer games from John (Jedi Knight I and II, Away Team, and The Fallen), and the description of two friends' commitment ceremony a few weeks back I was walking around in a happy haze. "Royal Wedding" just kind of put the cherry on the top of my day.

It's a wonderfully romantic film, though it does include one of my all time favorite anti-romance songs, "How Could You Believe Me When I Said I Loved You (When You Know I've Been a Liar All My Life)?". It's almost as good as "I Hate Men" from "Kiss Me Kate" *G*

However, this morning it hit me that all the romance was also re-emphasizing how hopeless my own love life is, was, and will continue to be for the foreseeable future. It's funny how you can be so happy and upbeat one minute and then a little voice in your head pops up to
viciously point out your shortcomings and you do that emotional equivalent of a 50 storey drop.

Not that I'm unhappy as a single person, I've always enjoyed the lifestyle. Hell, preferred it really. But I guess you get to a certain point in your life and start looking around at happy couples and thinking maybe I'm missing something. I've always thought that love should add to an already fantastic life, but that just hasn't been my experience. Maybe I'm missing some essential piece of information, or some genetic combination that makes the love thing work.

I'm not sure, all I do know is that my current view is best summed up by a quote that the delightful cyranocyrano sent me today:
"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come. I couldn't have said it better myself.

Sorry this veered off into the maudlin, guys, I'm just in a peculiar mood today. Maybe it's all the sunshine, my body just isn't used to it in the mornings after a week of gray.

Crunches: 65
Depression scale: 8

Comments

Ice Weasels!

[tamago.livejournal.com]

I believe there is a D&D book that details the stats of Dire Ice Weasels.

well, yeah

[aelfsciene.livejournal.com]

I'm about in the same place--for the most part, quite happy with being single (ok, I miss the sex and the kissing and all), glad for my time, etc. But then I get hit, like you did, and think, "Well, damn. This sucks." I can usually pull out of it pretty quickly, but I hate the prospects around here (lack thereof, really), and I'm bad at meeting people to begin with, and well.

I can't say much more, but, "Yeah, that's right." You just hit it all.

Though I thought of you this morning when I walked to my car (way too goddamned early), when it was all bright and sunny, the first morning all week.

We don't need no stinkin' hats

[(Anonymous)]

Look here sunshine, love is all around and nowhere at the same time and you my dear are loved by me at least and that counts, and like I told you it's your strength and independence that are your most appealing attributes so never lose sight of that, just let it hapen. Besides if you don't start sounding more upbeat I'll fly out ther and tickle your monkey ass until you laugh all day, and I mean it.

Re: We don't need no stinkin' hats

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

Oh jeez, now I know who's sending anonymous comments, there's only one person I know who uses the phrase "monkey ass", John *G*

[h0h0.livejournal.com]

Sorry, hon. :(

Is there anything I can do?