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Apr. 17th, 2010 06:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ebonlockI'm sure everybody's heard about Constance McMillen, the lesbian girl in Mississippi who successfully sued her school for the right to bring her girlfriend to the prom, but did you hear what happened after that:
Last month a federal judge in Mississippi ruled that Constance McMillen’s rights were violated when she was not allowed to wear a tuxedo and bring her girlfriend to the Itawamba Agricultural High School prom. Judge Davidson would hold a trial on the matter later and stopped short of requiring the school board to reinstate the prom, as parents had already formulated their plan to hold a private prom.
There was a private prom all right. On Wendesday, the school’s attorney announced that “the prom” was to be held at the Fulton Country Club on Friday. Constance, her date and seven other kids showed up.
Because the “real prom” was held in a secret location outside of the county, reports nmisscommentator.
A few of the other kids who showed up were learning disabled, apparently they weren't told about the change in venue either. Nice. if you click on the FireDogLake link above you'll note in the comments that two of the seniors actually came on to try to justify the actions of themselves, the school administrators and the parents who were behind this disgusting ruse. Alas, for the gals at least one was "outed" after she stupidly used her FB handle. Of course their arguments came down to, and I'm not making this up, they were justified because Constance was just a glory hound and a troublemaker anyway. It had nothing to do with them being bigots...great heavens no!
While Constance has become a national figure of courage and has been tapped to appear at the NYC pride parade, these kids (particularly the one outed on FDL) had best hope Focus on the Family or similar rabidly conservative groups have job openings in the not too distant future.
I'm reminded by all of this of my own teen years. I never went to my own prom because I was a pariah at my own high school (and hung out with the other similarly castigated kids), however 10 years later I was asked by a good friend who was a senior in high school and had just come out of the closet, to escort her to her own prom. I was flattered beyond belief and quickly accepted. She warned me that there might be trouble, despite having gotten permission from the school to bring a female date. The other kids hadn't been particularly kind to her over the years and someone could start trouble. I went in fully aware and prepared for just about anything.
She was stunning in a green floor length gown and I was quite dapper in a tux with tails. We were, I don't mind saying, the belles of the ball and the weirdest thing was that everybody, and I mean everybody, went out of their way to be kind. People kept walking up all night and complementing our outfits, and I remember one young gal actually gushing about how great it was that we'd come together and how she thought we were very brave.
It was almost surreal to me, having been such an outcast in my own high school days, but it was also, for many years, something I could point to and think, "We really have come a long way."
And then I read something like this and I have to wonder how some people can be so cruel and petty and bigoted. I kind of get it with the kids, I mean I grew up with people just like the ones in this story. But did the parents and administrators really think they were going to get away with this shit? That there'd be no blowback on their town? Were they so caught up in getting their revenge on Constance and making sure their kids didn't have to associate with the weird kids that their higher brain functions just got drowned out and finally gave up in disgust? What in the hell were they thinking?
I hope their act of cruelty and defiance was worth being branded small-minded assholes for years to come. Lord knows they've earned it.
Last month a federal judge in Mississippi ruled that Constance McMillen’s rights were violated when she was not allowed to wear a tuxedo and bring her girlfriend to the Itawamba Agricultural High School prom. Judge Davidson would hold a trial on the matter later and stopped short of requiring the school board to reinstate the prom, as parents had already formulated their plan to hold a private prom.
There was a private prom all right. On Wendesday, the school’s attorney announced that “the prom” was to be held at the Fulton Country Club on Friday. Constance, her date and seven other kids showed up.
Because the “real prom” was held in a secret location outside of the county, reports nmisscommentator.
A few of the other kids who showed up were learning disabled, apparently they weren't told about the change in venue either. Nice. if you click on the FireDogLake link above you'll note in the comments that two of the seniors actually came on to try to justify the actions of themselves, the school administrators and the parents who were behind this disgusting ruse. Alas, for the gals at least one was "outed" after she stupidly used her FB handle. Of course their arguments came down to, and I'm not making this up, they were justified because Constance was just a glory hound and a troublemaker anyway. It had nothing to do with them being bigots...great heavens no!
While Constance has become a national figure of courage and has been tapped to appear at the NYC pride parade, these kids (particularly the one outed on FDL) had best hope Focus on the Family or similar rabidly conservative groups have job openings in the not too distant future.
I'm reminded by all of this of my own teen years. I never went to my own prom because I was a pariah at my own high school (and hung out with the other similarly castigated kids), however 10 years later I was asked by a good friend who was a senior in high school and had just come out of the closet, to escort her to her own prom. I was flattered beyond belief and quickly accepted. She warned me that there might be trouble, despite having gotten permission from the school to bring a female date. The other kids hadn't been particularly kind to her over the years and someone could start trouble. I went in fully aware and prepared for just about anything.
She was stunning in a green floor length gown and I was quite dapper in a tux with tails. We were, I don't mind saying, the belles of the ball and the weirdest thing was that everybody, and I mean everybody, went out of their way to be kind. People kept walking up all night and complementing our outfits, and I remember one young gal actually gushing about how great it was that we'd come together and how she thought we were very brave.
It was almost surreal to me, having been such an outcast in my own high school days, but it was also, for many years, something I could point to and think, "We really have come a long way."
And then I read something like this and I have to wonder how some people can be so cruel and petty and bigoted. I kind of get it with the kids, I mean I grew up with people just like the ones in this story. But did the parents and administrators really think they were going to get away with this shit? That there'd be no blowback on their town? Were they so caught up in getting their revenge on Constance and making sure their kids didn't have to associate with the weird kids that their higher brain functions just got drowned out and finally gave up in disgust? What in the hell were they thinking?
I hope their act of cruelty and defiance was worth being branded small-minded assholes for years to come. Lord knows they've earned it.
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no subject
Date: 2010-04-18 03:46 am (UTC)A Facebook friend (a fellow alumna of our alma mater) posted that story to her wall and she commented that sure, there was some bigotry in town but she was confident the parents would've squelched any real trouble before it started and it certainly never would have gotten to such a level as that.
I had the honor of informing her that my experience at that hallowed institution led me to a different conclusion altogether. I explained to her the bigotry and homophobia I'd faced every fragging day of my four years there - not just from fellow students but from teachers, too.
All she could say was, "I guess I was not paying enough attention."
Had I (or really, any of us) made it to the national media spotlight, I could easily see parents and teachers in our small town doing the exact same thing as their counterparts in Itawamba. (Especially the teacher who accused me of wearing my own class ring on a chain around my neck.)
I remember when you went to the prom with her, you guys looked great and I was so glad things went well and you both had a wonderful time. That was a good thing. But stories like this one make me think we've gone back in time to when one spoke the word "lesbian" with a whisper if at all.
no subject
Date: 2010-04-18 05:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-04-18 07:41 pm (UTC)But I never went to my prom. The group of people I hung out with in high school viewed the prom as something the jocks and their stuck-up girlfriends attended, it was going to suck, and we knew we would hate it.
All these years later, I still don't care that I didn't attend the prom. I also had deeply personal reasons for not wanting to go to those type of events.
no subject
Date: 2010-04-20 12:45 am (UTC)I did take a date, my friend Becky, to my 10-yr HS reunion. Everyone assumed we were dating though we both tried to be clear that it wasn't that kind of thing. We even got invited to Florida to stay with the other same sex couple at my reunion. It was kind of funny. Everyone kept saying how hard it must be with her in MN and me in CA. heh.
This whole thing seems so petty and vindictive but... Well, there was that woman who drive a teen to suicide through internet bullying because her daughter had a falling out with the girl, so I can't say I'm too surprised at seeing parents do stupid petty shit.