Curse you Bill H-!

[ebonlock]

Yeah the Bill H- saga continues. For those just tuning in this is the name of a wildly enthusiastic Scientologist who's apparently all about spreading the word. Whatever that word actually is.

Anyway FedEx delivered a very official looking envelope here on NYE and I called them back that Friday to come take it away again. I'd rather hoped that was the end of it and that the package would eventually find its way to the erstwhile Bill H-. Or if it disappeared into the ether that would be fine too, just so long as it didn't stay in my apartment.

Today as I was walking to my door I noticed a rather large stack of boxes. Five boxes. Five big boxes. Before I got close I knew precisely who they were for. There are currently cases of L. Ron Hubbard lecture cd's sitting right by my front door. And those fuckers are heavy. I can't even imagine how much it must have cost to ship them via FedEx. Not that the Scientologists are hurting for money, of course, still it seems hella' wasteful.

So I blew 15 more minutes of my life calling FedEx again to come get the packages. The guy I talked to was nice, so it wasn't a horrible experience, just annoying. Part of me is tempted to actually try to contact the Scientologists themselves and tell them to please cut it the fuck out.

You know the worst part? I'm actually sitting here contemplating bringing the boxes inside so nothing happens to them tonight. Fortunately the rational part of my brain reminded me that I have absolutely no responsibility where they're concerned and the poor driver who delivered them would probably be thrilled if one or two went missing.

The only remaining questions are, what will be delivered next and should I find an appropriate Scientology-esque icon to use when I post about it...

Comments

[elo-sf.livejournal.com]

laughing my ass off literally!

sorry, this is too funny and your post about it is great.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

I took pictures of the boxes, remind me to show you the next time I see you.

[lisa-marli.livejournal.com]

If someone is stoopid enough to steal them, it serves them right. :D
Hope the scientologists get the idea soon and stop sending you stuff.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

Or at least they could send me something interesting and cool, that might be nice. I'm expecting to come home at some point to find a bust of L. Ron Hubbard on my welcome mat.

[tavella.livejournal.com]

Eeep! How did you end up on their radar?

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

They're trying to get Bill H-, who I believe was the previous tenant of my apartment. If I can pin down the manager at some point I'll confirm that and hopefully get his forwarding address. At the least I'd like to contact him and ask him to contact the Scientologists.

[reluctantgenius.livejournal.com]

Can't you tell Fed Ex that you're not taking any deliveries for Bill H?

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

Can't you tell Fed Ex that you're not taking any deliveries for Bill H?

Dude I have, twice! The guy I talked to last night seemed fairly competent and very apologetic so maybe the deliveries will stop. Maybe.

[scoreboard.livejournal.com]

Better person than me. I would be figuring out how to take an enormous Duce Staley in the boxes without making it obvious they were tampered with.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

If they're still there when I get home I could ping you if you'd like ;)

[moonlightnrain.livejournal.com]

I agree that you should be able to tell FedEx that no Bill H lives there and that you'd appreciate it if they didn't leave any boxes addressed as such.

However, considering an interesting bit of fact I recently discovered... I'm wondering if the Church of Scientology could possibly be fined by the Federal government for sending things via FedEx that are, clearly, non-urgent. Because *that* would be AWESOME.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

I agree that you should be able to tell FedEx that no Bill H lives there and that you'd appreciate it if they didn't leave any boxes addressed as such.

Done, twice. Believe me it was the first thing I mentioned both times, and yet...The only explanation I can come up with (aside from gross fuck-up-ery on the part of the employees I spoke to) is that one package came Express and the other Ground so maybe there are two separate systems and now I've notified both.

However, considering an interesting bit of fact I recently discovered... I'm wondering if the Church of Scientology could possibly be fined by the Federal government for sending things via FedEx that are, clearly, non-urgent. Because *that* would be AWESOME.

Depends on the meaning of the word "urgent" I suppose. And given the vast army of lawyers at their disposal I'm not sure anyone would be willing to take them to court over it.