So we went to see Mummy 3 today...

[ebonlock]

I think my reaction can best be summarized thusly:





I went into the movie with rock bottom expectations but that, it seemed, was being far too generous. Everybody in the film seemed a bit embarrassed to be there, and well they should. The script was dismal. Predictable, dreary and uncomfortably stilted, the whole mess creaked and groaned under the weight of the writers' ineptitude. In short if you've seen the first two films and any number of other poorly written bombs you know exactly what's going to happen from start to finish. There are absolutely no surprises, and I was actually mouthing the dialog before the actors even said it. On a few occasions I was silently begging them not to say it.

Beyond that the new actress playing Evie had all the charm and appeal of your standard movie Nazi, and about as much chemistry with Fraser. Their "adorable" scenes at the family estate were groan-worthy and had me actively contemplating fleeing the theater in favor of "Singh is King", the Bollywood flick playing just down the hall. Whenever the comic relief brother character was onscreen I took to burying my face in my hands. He was actually funny in the first film, but in the subsequent two he just became a pathetic figure elevated slightly above the level of fart jokes. The son, Alex, was brainless and completely lacking in anything remotely like charisma. The female love interest was utterly forgettable. Michelle Yeoh looked as gorgeous and kickass as usual, but appeared for all of five minutes at the beginning of the film and another ten at the end. And Jet...Oh lord, poor Jet...

Let's just say it was the end of that horrid Lethal Weapon all over again. I could've tolerated it if Michelle had kicked his ass. After all she's a martial artist and an extremely skilled one at that, so her taking out Jet's character, sure, fine, whatever. But no, I knew about half an hour into the film that he was going to kill her because he's so EVIL and then the father/son team were going to defeat him in some utterly implausible way. Could've gone along with that if they hadn't resorted to Fraser's character actually landing punches on Jet Li. I can suspend my disbelief just so far.

Beyond that the camera work was either vomit-inducing in its instability or frustrating in the extreme. Doing ultra-close slow mo's of Jet and Michelle, two martial artists with years of experience in movie fighting, is never a good idea. It's unnecessary and it's annoying. Hell it's more than that, it's insulting to both the actors and the audience. I only went to see this film in the first place to watch the two of them throw down.

*sigh*

And let's not even discuss the fact that Jet's character turned into a western style dragon instead of a Chinese dragon, or that when defending an ancient temple from the mummy the good guys did everything except cut the rope bridge that would've stopped the bad guys flat out...

Letting it go, letting it go...

Please just learn from the two hours of my life that I will never get back and spurn this film as if it were a rabid dog.

Comments

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

Suffice to say that the trailer really did contain the best moments of the film, and was far more succinct. At least Jet looked as bored as the audience with the whole thing. It was just sad after seeing how much fun he had in "Forbidden Kingdom", a film that was made with total love of the genre and used his skills beautifully, to watch him phone it in on this one.