(no subject)

[ebonlock]

Thanks to urbaniak I got to read the funniest review of The Happening yet. I'll include some of the non-spoilery bits below even though I'm quite sure no one reading my journal would have the slightest desire to see the film:

SPOILER WARNING: The only way I can relate to you in any sort of opinionated accuracy what an abortion the film The Happening is, is to give a few things away. If you wish to see this film unspoiled, I suggest you stop reading now…but if you wish to see this film unspoiled, I really must suggest that you do not! You do not want to see this movie! It defies the “bad enough to laugh at” genre that saturates the film world so much these days. You can’t laugh at this film as you’re watching it; you can only laugh after the fact. But in laughing after the fact, you’re only laughing at how unbelievable it is that we live in a world where these complete missteps get made! This film is no Plan 9 from Outer Space. This film wishes it had the sort of integrity that that masterpiece of bad filmmaking portrayed. Ed Wood Jr. was a hack, sure, but at least he was a sincere, non-pretentious hack that tried to entertain his audience. I don’t know what M. Night’s angle is! What is he up to? Why does he keep making movies that are the equivalent of calling me and hanging up?
[...]
When it was over, I was frozen in shock. I walked backwards from the theatre spewing non-intelligible strings of expletives, and seriously considered killing myself, but I didn’t want to miss The Venture Brothers.
[...]
But it is not a deep film; it is a waste of my movie-going time, and yours, and I hate it with every part of me. I hate it the way I hate veggie bacon and Tyra Banks. I hate is almost as much as I hate Batman and Robin. The Happening should fall down on its underdeveloped, under-scripted knees and thank the Movie Gods that there is Batman and Robin, that’s all I’m saying…


Heh. In other news I'd just like to say that I actually wore a pair of size 8 pants today. SIZE 8! I can't even tell you the last time I managed that. I'm not where I want to be weight-wise but I've got to say that this has given me the inspiration to keep watching what I eat and make sure I get in some walking or other form of exercise every day. Go me!

Comments

[rexluscus.livejournal.com]

Heheh. :) There should be a word (maybe a German one) for the pleasure of savaging a really bad movie.

By the way, I suck - I never thanked you for your incredibly sweet holiday card. That was, uh, six months ago? *headdesk* Also, I was wondering if you guys might be available for hanging out one of these days. I think I'm finally not too much of a fruitcake to keep a date. :)

Ye gods.

[elenderel.livejournal.com]

Uh-oh ... this is the same guy who's going to do the Avatar movie ... perhaps the world will end before it's unleashed upon an unsuspecting public?

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

First, you're very welcome, second hell yes let's get together! Third, damn you for pointing me at "When the Rose and Fire are One" because I'm going to be doing nothing but reading this story for the rest of the day. Just a little way's into it and I'm already thinking that's exactly how house arrest at Spinner's End should be done and wishing I'd written it that way *sigh*

Re: Ye gods.

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

See now you understand why I was wailing about him touching Avatar...

Re: Ye gods.

[elenderel.livejournal.com]

It's all clear to me now ... O the pain ...

He must be stopped. He and Guy Ritchie.

[moonlightnrain.livejournal.com]

Why does he keep making movies that are the equivalent of calling me and hanging up?

*laughs until tears leak from my eyes*

Oh dears gods, that's scarily accurate, isn't it?

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

I thought that one sentence so perfectly summarized M. Night's films that it should be engraved in bronze or something.