Energetic Outdoor Sports and Buggery
Mar. 11th, 2007 07:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ebonlockLook at the British ruling class in the 19th/20th centuries, and their tradition of sending their kids to private schools to learn about Latin, Greek, energetic outdoor sports and buggery. -Herr Doktor Bimler
So we had a plan, a potentially mad plan,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
aelfsciene and I, to watch cheesy witch movies and eat cheese fondue. We convinced moonlightnrain that she should join in, though I think the promise of sugar-free chocolate was what really swayed her. And then we invited tersa to join in as well. Sadly moonlightnrain managed to come down with a nasty cold and tersa was wiped out so it was down to Aelf and me.
We made a stab at the cheese fondue which turned out to be more wine than cheese, but still pretty tasty and watched "The Covenant". Ok so Aelf found a review later that basically summed the movie up with the comment, "The Covenant is basically what would happen if Guess Models were suddenly embued with magical powers". Yes, I'd have to say that summed the movie up quite nicely.
Now don't get me wrong, there's a lot to be said for it if you go into the movie with a) a good sense of humor, and b) the true appreciation for unmitigated beefcake. Because oh lord the beefcake is prime, baby, truly prime. Indeed the actors are often upstaged by their own glistening, ripped abs...not that either Aelf or I minded, of course. I will say that the film had two true high points:
1) The foursome of ridiculously good looking guys, dubbed "The Sons of Ipswich", have magical but unclear abilities. Indeed they pretty much seem to be able to do whatever the plot demands at any particular moment. Fair enough. One of the boys has white blonde hair and I immediately dubbed him "Draco". He's what, if I were inclined to write Draco Malfoy slash, I'd be seeing in my mind's eye while doing so. At any rate Draco is driving the boys' Hummer during a police chase and just as he's about to drive it off a cliff (don't worry, they can, of course, fly, de-materialize, re-materialize, etc.) crows, "Harry Potter can kiss my ass." Yep, totally Draco, he immediately became my favorite one, especially because his sexuality was very questionable.
2) The boys are all swimmers, which means we get two scenes of them and their Jesus-god-in-heaven beautiful bodies in speedos, and one involving a locker room and full back-al nudity. Yee haw.
So the plot basically makes little to no sense, it's damn near impossible to tell one looking character from another, indeed the villain and hero look so much alike that we often got them confused. They have a rather slashy "fight" in a girl's dorm room and during the scene the villain pins the hero to the floor and is leering over him and that is when I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life...
I actually said aloud, "Jesus if he kisses the hero I'm going to buy this goddamn movie. I swear I will."
Yeah, you can tell where this is going next. The villain does kiss the hero and I start swearing like a sailor's daughter. Me and my big mouth. Being a woman of my word I'm going to buy the damned thing, and I may well watch it in the future for all the wrong reasons.elo_sf, if you'd like to borrow it, honey, you just say the word ;)
At any rate, Aelf and I posited far more fascinating subplots for the film than were actually there, and I came to the conclusion that I could actually write fic for this film that would turn it into a pretty damned interesting concept. It would most certainly involve the hero and his mom having had an incestuous affair (Aelf came up with that one after the first scene between the two), the love interest turning out to be an evil sorceress (both Aelf and I thought that would make for a great twist), and Draco bottoming to every hot boy int he entire school (using his funky powers when necessary), then I'd actually define all the nonsensical terms they came up with in the flick (I still don't know WTF a "darkling" is) and rationalize the rules governing the magic...not to mention actually adding in a bit of historical reality.
I could do it, but I won't...
Really.
So we made it through the whole thing and there was much giggling and confusion about just what the hell was going on during the whole thing, we're still not sure but neither do we care enough to try to figure it out. It did, however, give us a running joke involving the phrase, "If ______ happens, I swear I will buy this movie>". It's a phrase I'm going to be very careful about uttering in the future.
So we had a plan, a potentially mad plan,
aelfsciene and I, to watch cheesy witch movies and eat cheese fondue. We convinced moonlightnrain that she should join in, though I think the promise of sugar-free chocolate was what really swayed her. And then we invited tersa to join in as well. Sadly moonlightnrain managed to come down with a nasty cold and tersa was wiped out so it was down to Aelf and me. We made a stab at the cheese fondue which turned out to be more wine than cheese, but still pretty tasty and watched "The Covenant". Ok so Aelf found a review later that basically summed the movie up with the comment, "The Covenant is basically what would happen if Guess Models were suddenly embued with magical powers". Yes, I'd have to say that summed the movie up quite nicely.
Now don't get me wrong, there's a lot to be said for it if you go into the movie with a) a good sense of humor, and b) the true appreciation for unmitigated beefcake. Because oh lord the beefcake is prime, baby, truly prime. Indeed the actors are often upstaged by their own glistening, ripped abs...not that either Aelf or I minded, of course. I will say that the film had two true high points:
1) The foursome of ridiculously good looking guys, dubbed "The Sons of Ipswich", have magical but unclear abilities. Indeed they pretty much seem to be able to do whatever the plot demands at any particular moment. Fair enough. One of the boys has white blonde hair and I immediately dubbed him "Draco". He's what, if I were inclined to write Draco Malfoy slash, I'd be seeing in my mind's eye while doing so. At any rate Draco is driving the boys' Hummer during a police chase and just as he's about to drive it off a cliff (don't worry, they can, of course, fly, de-materialize, re-materialize, etc.) crows, "Harry Potter can kiss my ass." Yep, totally Draco, he immediately became my favorite one, especially because his sexuality was very questionable.
2) The boys are all swimmers, which means we get two scenes of them and their Jesus-god-in-heaven beautiful bodies in speedos, and one involving a locker room and full back-al nudity. Yee haw.
So the plot basically makes little to no sense, it's damn near impossible to tell one looking character from another, indeed the villain and hero look so much alike that we often got them confused. They have a rather slashy "fight" in a girl's dorm room and during the scene the villain pins the hero to the floor and is leering over him and that is when I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life...
I actually said aloud, "Jesus if he kisses the hero I'm going to buy this goddamn movie. I swear I will."
Yeah, you can tell where this is going next. The villain does kiss the hero and I start swearing like a sailor's daughter. Me and my big mouth. Being a woman of my word I'm going to buy the damned thing, and I may well watch it in the future for all the wrong reasons.
elo_sf, if you'd like to borrow it, honey, you just say the word ;)At any rate, Aelf and I posited far more fascinating subplots for the film than were actually there, and I came to the conclusion that I could actually write fic for this film that would turn it into a pretty damned interesting concept. It would most certainly involve the hero and his mom having had an incestuous affair (Aelf came up with that one after the first scene between the two), the love interest turning out to be an evil sorceress (both Aelf and I thought that would make for a great twist), and Draco bottoming to every hot boy int he entire school (using his funky powers when necessary), then I'd actually define all the nonsensical terms they came up with in the flick (I still don't know WTF a "darkling" is) and rationalize the rules governing the magic...not to mention actually adding in a bit of historical reality.
I could do it, but I won't...
Really.
So we made it through the whole thing and there was much giggling and confusion about just what the hell was going on during the whole thing, we're still not sure but neither do we care enough to try to figure it out. It did, however, give us a running joke involving the phrase, "If ______ happens, I swear I will buy this movie>". It's a phrase I'm going to be very careful about uttering in the future.
