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ebonlockWe called her Bernie, but her real name was...
Gold star for the one able to finish that quote and tell me what I was watching while running around cleaning and baking like mad last night. I did discover something, though, the best dieting plan for me seems to be the following:
1) Don't bring bad food in the house
2) Fill your evenings up with cleaning and chores
If you can't sit around you're less likely to just pick something up and eat. I get the feeling that by the end of my current weight loss scheme I'm going to have a very tidy and well organized apartment. Bonus!
First, hysterical top ten lists for each episode, this one points at the one for "The Moth".
Now we open with Kate carrying a lovely bunch of bananas, say Kate, where you goin' with that produce? And while I know that I've racked up a lot of mental frequent flier miles on Air Smut, does that mean I was the only one who briefly thought, "Yes, that looks like about enough bananas to help Kate deal with her current sexual frustration." I was? Damn.
And I suppose it was wrong of me to spend the first few minutes of the episode sincerely wishing that the tide would go out. Bad Ellie, it's Sawyer!! Bad, bad, naughty Ellie. Sadly, it's all downhill for me from here.
We also learned early on that Boone is not only the Worst Lifeguard Ever, but he's also a big pussy. I mean honestly, can't swim, can't fight, what can you do? Oh and does this boy have the IQ of a dust bunny or what? Dude, don't you remember what happened the last time you tried to swipe something? Remember how people didn't like you for a while and treated you like a big old dumbass. Remember that? When he reveals that he's the true owner of the Watership Down novel I nearly choked on my drink. Suddenly I was seeing him sitting in the airport before they took off, brow wrinkled with concentration, silently mouthing the words on the page as he attempted to sound them out. He probably only picked it up because the rabbit on the cover reminded him of a former pet.
So Snicker Ho has asthma, things are looking up! One good invisible monster attack should take care of her. Excellent.
Also discovered that heroine withdrawal really isn't bad at all, I mean the first night apparently sucks, but you're right as rain in a day or two. I feel quite cheated by years to public service announcements and "Just say no" campaigns. Good to know.
Anyway Dr. Jack Medicine Man saves S.H. through the power of his mind and we have the BEST HURLEY MOMENT EVER: "That was like a...Jedi moment." Yes, fortunately for her, S.H. is pretty weak minded so it didn't take much to save her. Damn.
And can I just take a moment here to say that Sawyer in a business suit is wrong in so many ways? What the hell kind of a con man has skanky hair and a week's growth of facial hair when he tries to scam a guy out of over $100,000? I thought he'd just degraded a bit since the crash, but sadly that is not the case.
Ok the basic premise this week (aside from being an excuse to give us a nonsensical Sawyer flashback episode) was that he was being a bastard and keeping S.H.'s asthma medicine just to...well, be a bastard. He tells Kate he'll give it to her for a kiss, I think, hey great excuse to make out with a guy who's not too hard on the eyes for a good cause where's the downside? Kate, however, is playing hard to get and refuses which leads Jack and Sayid to decide it's time to get medieval on his ass.
Is it wrong that Sayid admitting he'd tortured people in the past made me a little wibbly? Yeah, I'm sure that's wrong.
Sun, herb woman extraordinaire, thinks she can help S.H. if only she can find a special plant and who does she turn to for help? You guessed it. Damn she and Mercutio are so hooking up. At least now Jin has a reason to be all growly and possessive, or he would if he spoke any English and/or possessed a clue-dar.
Boy Sawyer sure can take the physical pain, but threaten to cut out an eye and he folds like a deck of cards. Well, mostly, but he does get his kiss eventually. And hey, tongue, you go boy! Of course anyone surprised by the fact that he doesn't, in fact, have the meds, please raise your hand now so I can mock you. Now we know that he is, as we've suspected, an incredible asshole for no other reason than that he can be. I think my empathy for him from last week is pretty much dried up.
And now we come to one of the greatest moments in television history. Sayid and Sawyer wrestling in the forest. For a few seconds I allowed myself to fantasize that they were fighting for the right to be my favorite one. Of course that was silly. If they'd been fighting over me they'd have been doing so...naked.
Sayid so kicks his ass and stabs him in the arm just to emphasize that on this island he and Locke are the true badasses and nobody better forget it. Damn, when he's not getting clocked from behind Sayid is one bad mutha. Sadly, he gets an attack of conscience and helps Jack save Sawyer for no earthly reason that I can conceive of. Guys, this is the fuck-up who couldn't even shoot schrapnel guy in the head, you'd be better off without him, seriously.
Fortunately the writers chose to leave all the Jack stitching scenes up to our imagination and we next see Sawyer all comfy on the beach with a neat little white bandage. Wow, you don't get service like that in a well equipped E.R. Island health care kicks ass! We then discover that if you give Kate a little tongue she's yours for life. And then we find out that Sawyer isn't really Sawyer, rather the little kid in the letter who hated Sawyer and grew up to turn into Sawyer anyway. I felt a little dizzy from vertigo standing on the edge of such a huge and gaping plot hole, but then Kate got sick of trying to figure it out as well and walked away so I could put it from my head for a while.
Charlie then proves that he is way beyond cute, far surpassing puppies, kittens and even Japanese schoolgirls. Pretend peanut butter...and Dom sucking his finger...
Ahem. Where was I? Oh yes, NOOOOOOOOOOO, Sayid don't GOOOOOOOOO!!! I know you're being all honorable and stuff, and yeah exploring the island is a damn fine idea...but...but...*sniffle* If the writers touch one hair on his pretty head I'll...oh, wait, scenes for next week include Sayid in bondage. Um...never mind. I think I'm going to be glad to be seeing that one alone. Yes, very glad indeed.
Gold star for the one able to finish that quote and tell me what I was watching while running around cleaning and baking like mad last night. I did discover something, though, the best dieting plan for me seems to be the following:
1) Don't bring bad food in the house
2) Fill your evenings up with cleaning and chores
If you can't sit around you're less likely to just pick something up and eat. I get the feeling that by the end of my current weight loss scheme I'm going to have a very tidy and well organized apartment. Bonus!
First, hysterical top ten lists for each episode, this one points at the one for "The Moth".
Now we open with Kate carrying a lovely bunch of bananas, say Kate, where you goin' with that produce? And while I know that I've racked up a lot of mental frequent flier miles on Air Smut, does that mean I was the only one who briefly thought, "Yes, that looks like about enough bananas to help Kate deal with her current sexual frustration." I was? Damn.
And I suppose it was wrong of me to spend the first few minutes of the episode sincerely wishing that the tide would go out. Bad Ellie, it's Sawyer!! Bad, bad, naughty Ellie. Sadly, it's all downhill for me from here.
We also learned early on that Boone is not only the Worst Lifeguard Ever, but he's also a big pussy. I mean honestly, can't swim, can't fight, what can you do? Oh and does this boy have the IQ of a dust bunny or what? Dude, don't you remember what happened the last time you tried to swipe something? Remember how people didn't like you for a while and treated you like a big old dumbass. Remember that? When he reveals that he's the true owner of the Watership Down novel I nearly choked on my drink. Suddenly I was seeing him sitting in the airport before they took off, brow wrinkled with concentration, silently mouthing the words on the page as he attempted to sound them out. He probably only picked it up because the rabbit on the cover reminded him of a former pet.
So Snicker Ho has asthma, things are looking up! One good invisible monster attack should take care of her. Excellent.
Also discovered that heroine withdrawal really isn't bad at all, I mean the first night apparently sucks, but you're right as rain in a day or two. I feel quite cheated by years to public service announcements and "Just say no" campaigns. Good to know.
Anyway Dr. Jack Medicine Man saves S.H. through the power of his mind and we have the BEST HURLEY MOMENT EVER: "That was like a...Jedi moment." Yes, fortunately for her, S.H. is pretty weak minded so it didn't take much to save her. Damn.
And can I just take a moment here to say that Sawyer in a business suit is wrong in so many ways? What the hell kind of a con man has skanky hair and a week's growth of facial hair when he tries to scam a guy out of over $100,000? I thought he'd just degraded a bit since the crash, but sadly that is not the case.
Ok the basic premise this week (aside from being an excuse to give us a nonsensical Sawyer flashback episode) was that he was being a bastard and keeping S.H.'s asthma medicine just to...well, be a bastard. He tells Kate he'll give it to her for a kiss, I think, hey great excuse to make out with a guy who's not too hard on the eyes for a good cause where's the downside? Kate, however, is playing hard to get and refuses which leads Jack and Sayid to decide it's time to get medieval on his ass.
Is it wrong that Sayid admitting he'd tortured people in the past made me a little wibbly? Yeah, I'm sure that's wrong.
Sun, herb woman extraordinaire, thinks she can help S.H. if only she can find a special plant and who does she turn to for help? You guessed it. Damn she and Mercutio are so hooking up. At least now Jin has a reason to be all growly and possessive, or he would if he spoke any English and/or possessed a clue-dar.
Boy Sawyer sure can take the physical pain, but threaten to cut out an eye and he folds like a deck of cards. Well, mostly, but he does get his kiss eventually. And hey, tongue, you go boy! Of course anyone surprised by the fact that he doesn't, in fact, have the meds, please raise your hand now so I can mock you. Now we know that he is, as we've suspected, an incredible asshole for no other reason than that he can be. I think my empathy for him from last week is pretty much dried up.
And now we come to one of the greatest moments in television history. Sayid and Sawyer wrestling in the forest. For a few seconds I allowed myself to fantasize that they were fighting for the right to be my favorite one. Of course that was silly. If they'd been fighting over me they'd have been doing so...naked.
Sayid so kicks his ass and stabs him in the arm just to emphasize that on this island he and Locke are the true badasses and nobody better forget it. Damn, when he's not getting clocked from behind Sayid is one bad mutha. Sadly, he gets an attack of conscience and helps Jack save Sawyer for no earthly reason that I can conceive of. Guys, this is the fuck-up who couldn't even shoot schrapnel guy in the head, you'd be better off without him, seriously.
Fortunately the writers chose to leave all the Jack stitching scenes up to our imagination and we next see Sawyer all comfy on the beach with a neat little white bandage. Wow, you don't get service like that in a well equipped E.R. Island health care kicks ass! We then discover that if you give Kate a little tongue she's yours for life. And then we find out that Sawyer isn't really Sawyer, rather the little kid in the letter who hated Sawyer and grew up to turn into Sawyer anyway. I felt a little dizzy from vertigo standing on the edge of such a huge and gaping plot hole, but then Kate got sick of trying to figure it out as well and walked away so I could put it from my head for a while.
Charlie then proves that he is way beyond cute, far surpassing puppies, kittens and even Japanese schoolgirls. Pretend peanut butter...and Dom sucking his finger...
Ahem. Where was I? Oh yes, NOOOOOOOOOOO, Sayid don't GOOOOOOOOO!!! I know you're being all honorable and stuff, and yeah exploring the island is a damn fine idea...but...but...*sniffle* If the writers touch one hair on his pretty head I'll...oh, wait, scenes for next week include Sayid in bondage. Um...never mind. I think I'm going to be glad to be seeing that one alone. Yes, very glad indeed.
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no subject
Date: 2004-11-11 04:56 pm (UTC)... Ralph
"The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert"
no subject
Date: 2004-11-11 04:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-11-11 05:00 pm (UTC)Oh sweetie ... you'll have to get up much earlier in the morning if you're to try to stump me on "obscure" movie quotes.
When everyone else was waiting for Elrond to start spouting Agent Smith lines, I was waiting for Agewnt Smith to break out in song, caterwauling to Abba whilst wearing a gown patterned after a frill necked lizard.
no subject
Date: 2004-11-11 05:05 pm (UTC)That sounds suspiciously like a challenge... :)
When everyone else was waiting for Elrond to start spouting Agent Smith lines, I was waiting for Agewnt Smith to break out in song, caterwauling to Abba whilst wearing a gown patterned after a frill necked lizard.
YES! I'm so glad I wasn't the only one doing that. Everybody kept talking about Agent Smith and all I could see was Tick. Do you suppose he kept Rivendell well stocked in "Wo-Man" products?
no subject
Date: 2004-11-11 05:10 pm (UTC)Oh it gets worse. Bernie played the tough ex-con trying to avenge his daughter's death in "The Limey".
no subject
Date: 2004-11-11 05:24 pm (UTC)Not to mention the Devil in "The Company of Wolves" and need I even say "Kneel before Zod!"?
no subject
Date: 2004-11-11 05:30 pm (UTC)Yes, but all those came out before Priscilla.
He always played a good villain. :-)
regarding The Company of Wolves ... it's a shame that the delicious female lead dropped off the radar. I think she only did one other film related project before pulling a dissappearing act.
( BTW ... you're good. )
no subject
Date: 2004-11-11 05:47 pm (UTC)He always played a good villain. :-)
Both reasons that when I first saw him in drag made me go OMGWTF? Halfway through Priscilla, though, I stopped mentally referring to him as General and he just became Bernie :)
regarding The Company of Wolves ... it's a shame that the delicious female lead dropped off the radar. I think she only did one other film related project before pulling a dissappearing act.
Hmm, I think I need to see this flick again, it's been far too long and I honestly can't remember how much of a hottie she was.
( BTW ... you're good. )
*bows* Why thank you, it's nice that the fact that I've seen a lot of obscure shows and films comes in handy once in a while. :)