![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Hey, this is a plan I can get behind
Mar. 1st, 2006 10:21 amAmanda at Pandagon has an idea for using all those pro-blastocyst laws coming down the pike to our advantage:
The Pope has reaffirmed the belief that embryos, even the ones created outside the womb that aren’t implanted in a woman yet, are full human beings, the moral equivalent of children. (And probably a step up the ladder from women.) With all this time and effort put by various out-of-touch patriarchy-loving leaders into according balls of cells person status, I think it’s time we the people started demanding that this reclassification have good effects instead of merely being a tool to strip women of their rights. If embryos are children, dammit, they should be legally classified as such so that they can be used for tax deductions.
In fact, the more I think about it, the more I’m down with the idea of reclassifying embryos as children. Not only could you keep a dozen or so in your freezer for tax reasons, but all sorts of social and family problems could be fixed by having embryo children instead of real ones.
* Embryo children would be a great solution to the eternal MRA quandary of both wanting physical evidence to the world that your testicles work right but not wanting to pony up for child support. Plus, if you really want, you can just split the “children” in half during a divorce, each spouse getting 6 or so kids to write off on their taxes.
* You could decorate their bedroom with refrigerator magnets and make their bed out of a popsicle box.
* Best slumber parties *ever*.
* If you are divorced, you could handle visitation just by passing the ice chest back and forth.
* No potty training.
* No pregnancy, so no more debates about how much control men get to have over women’s bodies.
* Church can be handled by sticking a mini TV in the freezer and flicking it to the access channel every Sunday.
* Bonus for the ego-monsters out there–since there’s no pressing need to distinguish between your progeny, you can name them all “Junior”.
* You can take them out in public encased in their six pack ice chest without fear of public temper tantrums, crying, etc.
* Nap time and bed time are fairly easy to negotiate.
The only real downside to embryonic children is that they’re pretty difficult to baptize, because dunking them in the water is known to thaw them out and could kill them. But other than that, I think this new, improved method of parenting is a win-win situation all around.
I love this plan, but will have to limit myself to 12 of the little popcicle angels, as I have a rather small freezer and space is at a premium. I'll give them a nice little ice cube tray with each individual section clearly labeled with freezer tape so mommy doesn't get confused. Hmm, I wonder if having 12 such special needs children would also qualify one for disabled parking permits. If so, sweet!
The Pope has reaffirmed the belief that embryos, even the ones created outside the womb that aren’t implanted in a woman yet, are full human beings, the moral equivalent of children. (And probably a step up the ladder from women.) With all this time and effort put by various out-of-touch patriarchy-loving leaders into according balls of cells person status, I think it’s time we the people started demanding that this reclassification have good effects instead of merely being a tool to strip women of their rights. If embryos are children, dammit, they should be legally classified as such so that they can be used for tax deductions.
In fact, the more I think about it, the more I’m down with the idea of reclassifying embryos as children. Not only could you keep a dozen or so in your freezer for tax reasons, but all sorts of social and family problems could be fixed by having embryo children instead of real ones.
* Embryo children would be a great solution to the eternal MRA quandary of both wanting physical evidence to the world that your testicles work right but not wanting to pony up for child support. Plus, if you really want, you can just split the “children” in half during a divorce, each spouse getting 6 or so kids to write off on their taxes.
* You could decorate their bedroom with refrigerator magnets and make their bed out of a popsicle box.
* Best slumber parties *ever*.
* If you are divorced, you could handle visitation just by passing the ice chest back and forth.
* No potty training.
* No pregnancy, so no more debates about how much control men get to have over women’s bodies.
* Church can be handled by sticking a mini TV in the freezer and flicking it to the access channel every Sunday.
* Bonus for the ego-monsters out there–since there’s no pressing need to distinguish between your progeny, you can name them all “Junior”.
* You can take them out in public encased in their six pack ice chest without fear of public temper tantrums, crying, etc.
* Nap time and bed time are fairly easy to negotiate.
The only real downside to embryonic children is that they’re pretty difficult to baptize, because dunking them in the water is known to thaw them out and could kill them. But other than that, I think this new, improved method of parenting is a win-win situation all around.
I love this plan, but will have to limit myself to 12 of the little popcicle angels, as I have a rather small freezer and space is at a premium. I'll give them a nice little ice cube tray with each individual section clearly labeled with freezer tape so mommy doesn't get confused. Hmm, I wonder if having 12 such special needs children would also qualify one for disabled parking permits. If so, sweet!
