(no subject)

via The New Yorker, regarding undecideds Sedaris says:

To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”

To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.

(no subject)

One of my coworkers, who hadn't known about Prop 8 until he saw my button and asked me about it mistakenly referred to it as "Prop Hate" and I have to say it was such a delightfully accurate descriptor that I've been calling it that ever since.

Speaking of, Robert Green over at Sadly, No posts a beautiful rant on the pro Prop 8 people:

let me be clear (to borrow a obamanym):

fucking mormon shitbags are coming into my state with their shitty haircuts and magic underpants and faux-friendly-but-really-freakish grins and their holier-than-thou attitudes and they are TRYING TO FUCK OUR SHIT UP.

i will pass along to this board the same message i passed along, in person, to a group (maybe 8, maybe 10) of mormon pro-prop 8 “missionaries” who were foolish enough to knock on the door of my friend’s house in sacramento while i was there last week: “listen, boys, your founder joe smith was a pedophile racist genocidal rapist who, when not sodomizing one of his 100s of wives, was known to cornhole young boys. ’s true. and i’m pretty sure you idiots who believe the bullshit spewed by your mormon elders are IN NO FUCKING POSITION TO LECTURE ANYONE ON MORALITY. you are all followers of one of the stupidest belief systems on earth. i mean, there are yanomami indians somewhere who are sure the world came from the pineal gland of a frog and they are FAR LESS SHITHEELISH than any of you grease-free fuckbags. so take your lying and your deep contempt for MY country–one that i’m sure you asshats would secede from if only The Taliban were interested–and go the fuck back to provo before i fucking shove a steel pole through all of you like a fucking shishkabob.”

now, the last part was said at a rather elevated level of volume as they were quite literally running away (brave sir fucking robin indeed). motherfuckers. come the fuck back here i’m not finished with any of you.

goddamnit.

I'd have paid good money to see that.

And now something to make you laugh:

See more Hayden Panettiere videos at Funny or Die