The Night Before Midterms

The Night Before Midterms

By Verse


'Twas the night before mid-terms
And all through the House
Speaker Hastert was ranting
The filthy old louse

"Tomorrow they choose, and the future is clear.
We'll be handed our asses by the voters this year"
"Coach" Hastert was rattled, his confidence lost
For Nancy Pelosi would soon be his boss!

And Bill Frist with his scalpel, and a VERY scared cat
Wondered why all the public thought him such an asshat.
An irate America arose with such clatter
That even Chris Matthews gave up his weak blather!

Away to the polls we all flew like a flash,
And showed Dub the meaning of a voter backlash
The results were disputed by spinmeister Snow
But America just said "the bastards must go!"

When who should to my wondering eyes should appear
But a feisty Jack Murtha with a case of cold beer.
Wes Clark on his left flank, Charlie Rangle his right,
I knew in a moment, it would be a long night!

Their losses now certain, our future so bright...
It's time to pay up KKKKarl, starting next Tuesday night

Gone Chafee, Santorum, Jim Talent and Burns...
Plus Kyle and Dewine, 'cause America learns
Gone Hayworth and Northrup and Christopher Shays.
they'll all lose their house seats in a matter of days!

And Nancy and Harry, they'll go straight to their work
Of fighting George Dubya, the pustular jerk!
Bush, laying a finger upside of his nose
Took a huge snort of........well, you know how it goes...

Bush sprang to Dick Cheney, when "Darth" gave Dub a whistle
As the Democrats swamped them both like a "nucular" missile!

And I heard Cheney growl as Bush cringed at his side
"Be prepared you dumb asshole for a real nasty ride....."

via Hullabaloo

Is it wrong?

I don't know if it's wrong, but it feels so damn right to watch Rick "Man on Dog" Santorum giving his concession speech. I'll miss the fundie wingnut extraordinaire, I mean he's been such a great source of humor over the past few years. And I almost feel bad 'cause his son and daughter are about to burst into tears right there on camera and I'm really kinda enjoying it. After the spanking he received from Bob Casey (62% to 38%, booyah!) I'm surprised Little Ricky isn't bursting into tears himself.

The only thing I might enjoy more would be catching Katherine Harris' concession speech, I do believe that it might be something worth recording for posterity. If she doesn't go batshit on camera I will be so disappointed.

And goodness Chris Matthews is already puckering up for his new Democratic overlords, heh, and Keith Olbermann is trying very hard not to look too smug. And Joe Scarborough remains a flaming douche.

BTW, much as I loathe Andrew Sullivan for being a flaming wingnut/Bush apologist for the past 6 years, this quote made me giggle: "This is not an election anymore, this is an intervention.”